Nickie's World - original title, eh?

and I did it again

2008-10-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

man, how does that much time go by?

I am sick with a nasty cold which Tristan and Ryan and both coming down with, Hubby is next, I'm sure. Hubby is recovering from a little outpatient surgery but luckily seems to be feeling better today.

We had an offer on the house last week, but it was a total low-ball and the guy was not able to get enough financing to meet us anywhere near the middle. Oh well. Had another person in yesterday and hopefully there will be an offer soon that we can accept.

Went to visit my family and friends in the midwest this month too. It was a great visit. My dad played basketball in college and his university honored him with a spot in the Hall of Fame so we all flew back to attend the induction ceremony. It's always fun, as someone's child, to hear about what your parent's lives were like before you came along. We also drove to Tulsa to visit some very dear friends and had a blast. She recently moved into a house with a pool in the backyard and Ryan is such a great swimmer now. He was diving off the diving board and didn't need any assistance in the deep end - so much like his daddy.

Tristan is nearly running these days and just in the last few days his walking is less side to side and more balanced bi-lateral movement. He is less and less like a baby every day and it's so bittersweet. He is using more and more words (not all intelligible to others, but many are) and even though I have been using signs with him for months, he hasn't used them back much until lately. He has started signing 'eat' and 'thank you' in the past week. He is also cutting his canines right now and boy that makes him cranky. Poor guy.

Ryan is doing very well in school, reading way more than I did by early Kindergarten.

The boys are really starting to play together, it's just so much fun to watch them interact.

Bad blogger, BAD BLOGGER...

2008-08-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

How in the hell did it get to be nearly 2 months between posts?? Oh yeah, life got busy. Ok, I will try to sum things up so we can just move on.

-after the nightmare camping trip, Tristan somehow regained his weight plus some to make it over the 20lb mark by 12mo check up. Official stats are buried somewhere in the paperwork. He's 90-95% for head, 75% for length, and only 10% for weight.

-all the grandparents, one aunt, and the boys' cousin came out for Tristan's first birthday celebration and christening. It was a WONDERFUL visit that wasn't long enough - seriously.

-Tristan turned a year old.

-10 days later, Ryan turned five. (Zoiks Batman, really, already?)

-4 days later, I turned 35. (woah, now it's getting serious)

-9 days later, Hubby and I celebrated our 8th anniversary.

-we have been busy getting Ryan ready for Kindergarten and I am getting initiated into the world of BTS shopping from the parent's perspective. (Why on earth do the 'pretty' pencils cost $1.00 each? The plain wooden yellow ones work just as well for 12/$1.00, we're getting those!)

-I have been knitting a LOT lately. I will do a post soon (I promise) with pictures of some of my latest work. I am now part of an online store with some other great gals that I chat with online. Our store can be found here: Growing up Green.

-our dearest neighbors moved to Idaho and we miss them terribly.

-my dad got elected to the hall of fame for his university for basketball back in the day and we are all headed to the midwest in October to be there for the ceremony. (Go Daddy!!!! We always thought mom was making things up when she said you were the star of the team, guess we were wrong!)

-Tristan took his first steps yesterday. I will post a video of him 'walking' soon, hopefully tomorrow/later today depending on what time zone you are in.

-Ryan got the training wheels off his bike and is a natural. Video of this to come too.

-Hubby got promoted at work and I couldn't be more proud of him.

-Hubby bought me a new laptop for my birthday - yippee!! (It's pink. tee hee)

-Tristan is sick again, this time a double ear infection. But he was well from that last post to this one, so maybe I should take another leave of absence so he will stay well???? Nah.

Ok, so that about sums it up. If I forgot something, I will tell you later.

Sorry I have been such a bad blogger, I will try not to let it happen again. I will try to read at least the most recent posts from all my blogger friends too. Heather, I got your email, sorry I didn't reply, busy, as you can see above, and then it got buried in my inbox. My bad. Sorry.

Poor sick baby boy.

2008-06-17T20:44:00.000-07:00

Tristan is sick again. He developed an ear infection from his latest cold picked up at the gym childcare (oh joy!) and was just getting over that when we decided to go camping for the weekend with our neighbors. He refused to nurse nearly all day on Friday (which made me nervous since he still won't take a bottle and is not taking any version of milk out of a sippy cup yet) and I attributed it to the new surroundings while camping. He finally nursed on Saturday morning and later we got the first of many diarhhea diapers. Four full days later and he is still having diarhhea and today, he started some vomitting. Yuck. I was worried enough about dehydration on Sunday night after not noticing any wet diapers the entire day that I took him into the ER to get checked out. They said he was ok at that point and gave him some nausea meds to hopefully help him feel better and eat/drink more and to follow up with his pediatrician. After the vomitting today, I took him in and his doctor said that he is not quite at the point of needing IV fluids, but getting close to it. He sent us home with orders to give 1 tsp of electrolyte solution every 10 minutes + nursing as much as he was willing and if he held that down, to try a little applesauce for dinner. He ate about 2oz of applesauce, that was it.

The worst part is that he is losing weight from all of this. I was so excited when I took him in for that ear infection to see that he had gained 11oz in 3 weeks! I was sure he would make it to 20lb by one year so we could put a forward facing carseat in Daddy's Pri.us and save money on gas on the weekends, but now that probably won't happen for a bit longer. At that appointment, he was up to 19lb 11oz and as of today, he is back down to 18lb 14oz, nearly a pound lost in a matter of days - 5% of his total weight. He is so darn skinny!

For the most part, he is acting normally. A bit more clingy than usual, but wouldn't you be if your mommy could cuddle you all day long? My chiropractor is going to have some extra work to do after this is all over.

Hopefully we will be able to keep enough fluids in him to rehydrate without needing to go to the hospital for the IV.

On a lighter note, I have finished a few more knitting projects for gals online and I would love to show them off!

no idea why blogger can't figure out to NOT rotate this image. whatever.

This is probably my favorite so far, it is a soaker under layer (like the one above), but a skirt over the top, all in one piece. Took a long time, but sooo cute!

The mom I made the skirty for sent this picture of her little one in it at the beach - I can't STAND how dang cute she looks!!!

11mo old pics & video

2008-06-09T15:31:00.000-07:00

This kid is ALL OVER THE PLACE now and he isn't even walking yet. Getting him to hold still takes some serious pre-planning. He specializes in the crocodile death roll during diaper changes. Here are some pics...

No pictures, please!

No really - I mean it - no pictures! Oh, you talkin' to me?How you doin'?

Video to come soon. Gotta get it uploaded.

Summiting Mount Everest - well, not quite...

2008-06-05T14:14:00.000-07:00

Hubby caught some video of Tristan climbing his latest peak. Scary how quick he has gotten at it too.

Video: Tristan's First Ascent

and #6 is here now

2008-06-02T15:17:00.000-07:00

tooth #6 showed up overnight. Wow, that's a lot of teeth all at once. Poor guy, poor mommy. LOL

Hopefully now we'll get a bit of a break. Too bad he has yet another cold starting up. Thank you to the childcare at the gym for once again getting my baby sick. Almost makes it not worth it to go get a work out.

tooth #5 has arrived

2008-05-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

top, right of front right. noticed it today. hopefully #6 will arrive soon so we can get a break. this kid is literally dripping drool, it's so gross.

he also pulled up using his high chair today and proceeded to walk around the kitchen a bit with it. looks like I need to pull the walk behind toys out of the attic.

Ryan's first sentence

2008-05-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ryan and I were playing around with the foam letters from the bathtub building words a la Word World from PBS and while I was putting Tristan to bed, he surprised me with this sentence. I will translate for you:

9 fox, happy to go.

I couldn't be more proud.

more teeth

2008-05-26T09:25:00.000-07:00

right now, this is the best place for me to log things that are happening. I will fill in the baby book later, probably.

anyway, noticed last night that the 2nd front incisor made it's way thru, the next two top ones are on their way, hopefully soon.

Tristan says Car now. Took Ryan to get his hair cut at the barber in town last week and there is a cool classic car shop down the block that Daddy takes him to sometimes. I was in there with the boys looking around and Tristan starts saying "Cah!" over and over. Eventually, I figured out that he was, in fact, trying to say Car.

I am drowning in testosterone around here! LOL

crabcake

2008-05-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

Tristan has a nasty cold and is working on those teeth on top, so I decided that this shirt was rather fitting, don't you think? You can sort of see the "faux-hawk" I put his hair into after swim class today too.

Mwa Buh-dee

2008-05-14T16:40:00.000-07:00

Tristan now has a 3rd tooth. His top right incisor broke thru officially today. He is still working furiously (and I mean that literally) on the other 3 of the top 4 teeth.

We are taking the house off the market and staying put for at least another year or so - riding out the crappy market and economy. I am actually very relieved, prices are getting so high for everything these days and it will be nice to not increase our mortgage payment at the same time.

Lastly, Tristan has added a few words to his vocabulary. Included are "Buh Bye" with the adorable open/close hand wave and today he was putting his open hand on his mouth and then saying something like "Mwah Buh-dee!" I swear he was blowing a kiss to the dog - how friggin cute is that?? If it becomes a regular thing, I will try to catch it on video.

10 mo old - video and pics

2008-05-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

Tristan is 10 months old today. He has been outside of the belly longer than he was in it. Crazy.

He is trying to figure out crawling on hands and knees, but since he gets around so quick on his belly he gives up and just army crawls most of the time. He is really enjoying crawling over things and even up the stairs - eeek! He likes to crawl over to the sofa and pull up to knees and then feet when daddy is lying there relaxing. We have been showing Tristan how to wave Hi and Bye by opening and closing our hand (vs. the side to side open hand wave) and he is just starting to get the opening and closing of his hand, at least the first couple of fingers and thumb. He likes to stick his hand out and say something close to "Hi!" to daddy and to the dog he even adds, "Ha Buh!" for Hi Buddy!

In the last couple of weeks we decided to bite the bullet and I stopped feeding Tristan during the night. It only took about 3-4 nights of some crying and fussing before he figured out that the plans had changed. And not a moment too soon, this morning at 5am, he stirred and got himself up to his knees in his bed and could not figure out how to get back down and cried for a bit. Poor thing, he will figure it out soon, I hope.

Ok, pics and video.

What a happy baby!

Oh, it's you again!

Look at all that hair! Ryan didn't have that much until well after a year.

Mmmmm, bear toes! Yum.

Video: Tristan 10 months old

Lookie at what I made!

2008-04-29T20:58:00.000-07:00

I have really gotten into knitting shorties (to be used as diaper cover & clothes at the same time) for Tristan.

Here is the first pair I made:

And on the model:

I finished up this pair today:

How cute is he?

This shirt matches perfectly!

Tristan is SO BIG!

2008-04-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Ah, this kid just keeps getting cuter. And I know all moms think their child is adorable, but I get people saying this to me unprompted all the time so I guess for him, it just might be true. LOL

He now says Mama in addition to Dada. Finally. He also tries to say Buddy (the dog). I will add a video of him talking to the dog soon, once it uploads. For now, here is Tristan's favorite new game.

Video: Tristan is SO BIG!

9mo pics & video

2008-04-11T14:53:00.000-07:00

Been too long since I updated - again. Sorry. I suck.

House is on the market, but no action yet. The sellers of the other house did accept our offer with the contingency, so hopefully we can sell this one before that time runs out. We'll see. In the meantime, I get to enjoy my new powder room and my faboo granite counters.

Ok, onto baby updates. Tristan is a very speedy belly crawler, but not yet interested in getting up on hands/knees. That is ok by me, I can still outrun him this way. Swim class is going great, he is such a fish! Top teeth on their way, but no breakthrus yet.

Pics:

What an angel.

Without that gunky eye, his baby blues just jump right out at you.

Videos: (I went back and added video to the 8mo old post too.)
9mo old chatterbox

Video: Tristan 9 months old

Crawling video

Video: Tristan's army crawl

8 mo pics

2008-03-25T21:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry it has taken so long, life is crazy busy. We put a contingent offer in on a house and they accepted so we have until next Tuesday to get this house ready to list. We had a bunch of painting done (window trim and floorboards from natural wood tone to white) and a new roof put on and we are waiting on granite countertops. Calgon, take me away!!!!

Anyway, here are some updated pics.

As you can see from the pic above, his clogged tear duct has cleared itself up! We are so unbelievably excited about this because we were really starting to get worried that he would need surgery to open it up. Whew!

He also got his first two teeth in the last few weeks. He is such a cutie pie I could eat him up with a spoon.

Hoping to have some videos uploaded soon too.

Finally, here is video from 8mo.

Video: Tristan at 8 months old

ETA: In response to Alli's question in the comments, yes those are dachshunds, but it isn't a diaper cover, that is the diaper itself. My friend Dana makes them over at Little Luxe Organics. They are awesome! This is the very first dachshund diaper she sold!! Here is another cute picture of Tristan in it.

Cloth Diapering gets a bad rap - again.

2008-03-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

Parents Magazine recently published a piece on one father's limited experience with the world of cloth diapering. To say that it was incomplete is an understatement.

The article can be found here.

This is what I posted in the comments:

This perspective is unfortunate. It is unfortunate that this tale is probably what many 'new to cloth' parents have experienced. Cloth diapering has become so unusual in recent decades that the knowledge base has been significantly diminished. Until you seek out information from reputable sources, you might think that this is what a typical cloth diapering experience is like. That cannot be farther from the reality for many cloth diapering parents, myself included.
With my first son, I used 'sposies' because I didn't know any differently. I did give CDing a try when he was about the same age as the child in this article. The diapers I got at the baby boutique were the same basic style and I too was turned off from them pretty quickly and gave up. I wanted so badly to 'do the right thing' by the planet, but it was just not working out.
While pregnant with my second son, I started investigating the vast array of choices in the CD world and felt overwhelmed and said "Forget it!" more than once. But I kept coming back to it because I just didn't understand how anyone could actually WANT to use CDs. Then I started using them - the good kinds - and yes, there are several "good kinds" out there. CDing is fun. Yes, I said it - fun!
I touched WAY more poo in my years of sposies than I have using cloth. I don't do ANY dunking in the toilet. I wash 2 extra loads of laundry a week. When I used sposies, they leaked a LOT and I was washing baby clothes a lot more often than I do now. I also use a HE front loader that uses way less water to get the diapers clean. It takes me just as long to get a diaper on my squirmy baby using a sposie as it does with a CD.
In short, if this article was meant to be anything other than a fluff piece (no pun intended) based in humor then it failed in its objective. This article should not purport to be any sort of factual resource for what the reality of cloth diapering is and it would be a good idea for Parents magazine to do more than publish a few contrary opinions in the front of a future issue. Go to the real cloth diaper users and find out what we experience every day and I bet you would find that many Parents out there would be grateful for the effort.

We have a tooth!

2008-02-29T20:15:00.000-08:00

He has been drooling buckets for weeks, maybe months, with nary a chomper in sight. Then today, I am looking in there and Whoa! a tooth has broken thru. It is one of the bottom teeth and I expect that it's mate will be here soon too.

He is soooo ready to crawl! Tonight, I had him spend some naked time on his activity mat (poor guy had a red bum, so I wanted to air it out) and he was getting around so well. Not in a straight line, mind you, more in circles, but he was moving around a lot. He can turn around while on his belly and after one or two loops, finds himself farther away from his starting point. I think he will be officially crawling before Hubby's birthday in March.

He is also sleeping on his tummy these days and I think it is going to be the final piece in the sleeping-thru-the-night puzzle. Last night, for example, he did not stir at all until 4:30 and went right back to sleep afterwards until almost 8:00 this morning.

Got the videos working - I think

2008-02-17T10:13:00.001-08:00

My wonderful hubby helped me get the videos to work - with sound! I have added a few more too for the fun of it.

Tristan is 7 months old!

Video: Tristan is Seven Months Old!

This one was a couple of months ago, but one night Tristan just got the BIGGEST kick out of me startling him. It was going on for at least 5 min before Hubby got the video camera out.

Video: Baby Giggles

This one is of Ryan when he was about 2. He got into the habit of asking me over and over and over and over, "Mooom, whatcha doin' Mom??" So I got him back. Cracks me up everytime.

Video: Annoying (a) 2.5 Year Old

And because laughing babies are always funny, here is Ryan at a year old in the backyard pool on a VERY hot summer day.

Video: Funny Baby Laugh

7 mo update - where does the time go?

2008-02-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

Tristan is 7 months old now. Already. Good grief time is flying. He has started sleeping better now and usually doesn't wake up until right before 4am to eat and then goes back to sleep until about 7am or so. Boy, I could get used to this. Unfortunately, after all that trouble we had getting him back to the breast, he now looks like he might be trying to reject the bottle! Ah, the irony. I had a home owner association meeting the other night and Hubby was putting the boys to bed. Tristan absolutely refused the bottle and I ended up nursing him at 10:30pm when he woke up so he could get through the night (well, until 4am at least). I still give him a couple of ounces of formula or breastmilk in a bottle every night after I nurse him and he takes it from me just fine, perhaps it has just been too long since Hubby tried offering him a bottle. He only sort of eats well for the babysitter.

Rolling is happening on occassion, but not with any regularity - still so happy hanging out on his tummy that he isn't motivated to roll over much. He has figured out how to scoot around on his back by lifting up his hips and pushing off. Ryan did this too, so cute! It does mean that the bald spot on the back of his head will not be regrowing hair anytime soon. He is sitting up quite well on his own now. I keep a pillow behind him just in case, but he doesn't need it to stay upright anymore.

Here are some pics taken today and a couple of video clips for your enjoyment.

have to get to the videos later, blogger is hanging on me.

well, until I can get blogger to do the videos, here's a link to them.

http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a203/nickiea/videos/?action=view&current=MVI_3410.flv

http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a203/nickiea/videos/?action=view&current=MVI_3412.flv

Feeling better now - thank goodness.

2008-01-25T21:13:00.000-08:00

The joint pain is gone, the pneumonia is gone, but the cough still lingers. I have a new primary doctor that I like and he is pretty sure that I am not developing rheum.atoid arth.ritis - yay! I am so grateful to be well again. I hope this is the worst I get for a very long, long time.

The one side benefit of being so sick is that I lost some weight. I had been hovering at about 2-3 lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight which was pretty cool, but somehow my body decided it was time to let go of about 10-12 more lbs. Sweet! I haven't been at this weight since long before we started trying to get pregnant with Tristan. Now, to get my butt back in the gym so I can keep it off!

Tristan really really wants to crawl. Really. He likes being on his belly so much that he hardly ever rolls over and just spends his time spinning around in circles to get to other toys and he is starting to scootch backwards some too.

We have started waterbabies classes and last week he went underwater for the first time. This kid is so mellow and easy going (PLEASE let that last!) that he hardly even changed his expression when I dipped him under the water. Can't wait for the next class.

I have really been enjoying getting into wrapping Tristan to wear him. Over on thebabywearer site someone came up with the brilliant idea of picking a carry (way to use the wrap to carry baby) each week to learn/practice. We vote as a group on what we'll do next. Here are some pics of us this morning doing the SHBC (secured high-back carry). Excuse the pjs, it was pretty much first thing.

I hate being sick.

2008-01-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

So, that flu that I mentioned the other day turned out not to be influenza, but some other nasty virus that hit me pretty hard. I was starting to feel better on Sunday/Monday and that's when I started up with a secondary bacterial infection - pneumonia. This one really knocked me down hard. Not only have I had the typical cough, shortness of breath and weakness, but I have also had to deal with this unbearable joint pain that even narcotic pain meds could not fully take care of. I have been to the ER twice in the last few days and yesterday's treatment seems to be what I needed to get me over the hump. Now, the key is to finish healing and not push myself too hard too early.

6mo pics and update

2008-01-08T19:34:00.001-08:00

No 6mo pediatrician appointment yet, that is next week. But he did turn 6mo old on Sunday - already. How in the world is that possible??

Updates:

-he finally rolled over from tummy to back by himself on Christmas Eve in front of Grandparents and Aunt/Uncle and Mommy/Daddy. Big Brother missed it, but I think he is ok with that. He did it several times that night but has since forgotten how. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

-he can sit up somewhat well by himself. I still can't sit him down and move away at all, but he does go for several seconds at a stretch before he topples back onto me or I catch him before he face plants. Getting there.

-we started waterbabies swim class on Sunday and Tristan LOVED being in the water. He did not object at all when I laid him back with his ears under the water - he just pulled his feet up and proceeded to suck his toes. My little fishy.

-I am on day 5 of the flu. Yuck. I did get the vaccine which is why I think I don't have it as bad as you would expect. I am down to the dry hacking cough and headaches at this point. Hoping to be over it very soon because my husband might be coming down with it now too. Of course HE chose NOT to get the vaccine again this year, even after coming down with the flu last year and swearing that he would get it this year. And he refuses to go get meds too. He better not get pathetic in the next few days. So far, Tristan does not seem to be coming down with anything, he is too young for the vaccine but seems to be getting enough antibodies thru the breastmilk. Thank goodness!

Ok, now on to the pics. Oh yeah, his clogged tear duct is getting really gross (will talk to Dr about it next week again) so please excuse the redness around his left eye - poor guy. I will be sending a link to family so you can order copies if you want.

5mo3w - Space Needle visit

2007-12-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

We have some family in town this week for christmas and we took everyone into the city to see some sights. Not great weather, but very fitting for Seattle - cold and rainy.

I wore Tristan in one of my wraps almost the entire time and he loved it. I got him into a cradle position to nurse him when we got to the Space Needle and he had his 2nd breakfast (my little Hobbit) on the elevator ride up to the top. He ended up falling asleep in the wrap and took a nice long nap while we explored the EMP (Experience Music Project) and the Sci-Fi Museum (I wanted to nap in there too).

Here's a pic of us battling the wind and rain out on the observation deck in Simon (the name of the colorway of the wrap).

And here is a pic of us from inside the observation deck that Ryan took. Notice the obligatory Starbucks in my hand.

5mo1w - We have started solids

2007-12-16T18:39:00.000-08:00

I was originally going to wait until 6 mo based on the AAP recommendations. The only reason I relented and started a bit early is that Tristan has been wanting to nurse every 90 min during the day. I figured at first it could be a growth spurt and that he'd even out in a few days, but he's still wanting to nurse that often and shows several other 'signs of readiness' so off we go.

Started with bananas (Ger.ber organic) and he was not really very fond of them. I decided to thaw out one of the overripe frozen bananas I have in my freezer for doing banana bread someday (hahahaha) and see if he liked it better. His reaction was still so-so. I got maybe 6-10 spoonfuls (small ones at that) in him before he was turning his head away telling me he was done.

Tonight, I decided to break out the sweet potatoes (again, Ger.ber organic) but since these don't come in the smaller 1st foods size container I had to open one of the larger 2nd food size ones. I figured we might not get thru it before it goes bad, but might as well try. Oh boy! We have ourselves a winner here folks! Tristan not only liked it, but he kept opening up his mouth wide and getting all excited about another spoonful coming at him. I kid you not, he ate nearly the entire container! My little piggy.

And as I type this, he is having some tummy time on his playmat and I swear he's trying to figure out how to get his knees under him so he can crawl. This kid hasn't rolled over on his own yet, but he wants to crawl? Huh?

5mo video

2007-12-13T09:05:00.001-08:00

Thought this might be fun. His squeals are too funny!

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&vid=a90750fa-7b13-481c-81ef-dddcfe65558e

5 mo old today

2007-12-06T15:14:00.001-08:00

And cute as ever!

Babywearing action shots

2007-11-28T14:58:00.000-08:00

I have had this gorgeous gauze wrap since before Tristan was born and haven't had the nerve to start using it. Was using my Moby more at first. Anyway, I finally got the nerve to practice with it more and Ryan was more than happy to assist.

The wrap is from Gypsymama and is a Bali Baby Breeze in the Haumea color/pattern. The carry is called a rucksack. Please ignore my bad hair, no makeup, tired eyes etc. Oh, and the bad picture in general from my camera phone.

Later on, I tried it with Tristan and he seemed to love it. Today, I tried a variation on the rucksack called the Tibetan with him and that one went well too.

4mo 2wks - Nursing update

2007-11-26T20:33:00.000-08:00

You may or may not recall that ever since about 2 months Tristan has been refusing to nurse during the day and I ended up pumping full time for a few weeks there.

Well, I've been patient and hoping that things would turn around and they seem to be doing so, finally. I haven't pumped in 24 hours and he took nearly all his feedings today straight from the tap. His only bottle was the last feeding - he was so tired he didn't want to nurse on the right side so I gave him 4oz in a bottle which he sucked right down and then he acted hungry still so I nursed him more on the left side which he sucked down eagerly.

Yesterday he even nursed in the middle of a noisy restaurant - no sling, no coverup, nothing. His eyes were looking all over the room, but he didn't break his latch once until he was done and he ate quite a bit too.

I'm so happy that I'm FINALLY headed towards the sort of nursing relationship I had with my first and that I was most looking forward to during the pregnancy. Finally.

No excuse - just been busy

2007-11-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

sorry for my long absence. I've looked at my last post so many times and thought, "Ugh, I need to update that" but never got around to it.

Tristan's sleep is still rough, but we do get a good night here and there. His 4mo check up was great, he's growing nicely up to 15lb 11.5oz and 26.5 in. His weight percentile has dropped from off the charts at birth to about 70% now. His pediatrician is not worried though and this is the trend Ryan took as a baby. T is now more long and lean which is good because all of Ryan's old clothes were things that fit that body type better.

He'll nurse about half the time now, but we still don't have much luck unless it's right after a nap and in his room. I'll take it though.

We've been battling colds around here that we seem to be passing around like the rolls basket at Thanksgiving dinner. Speaking of which, we're headed to Oregon next week to visit family so if I'm AWOL again, that's why.

Hope everyone out there is doing well and that babies are sleeping well and growing well and well...that's about it from here.

Halloween 2007

2007-11-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

Both of the boys have been sick recently and Ryan is still sick, poor guy. He woke up Saturday night with croup and then Tristan was a little bit croupy the other night too. Luckily, both of them seem to be past that part of their colds.

We still took them out trick-or-treating last night though, just not for very long. They were so cute! Tristan wore Ryan's old costume -thinking he'll be doing that for the next several years at least.

This morning, Ryan asked me to put his bucket of candy where he couldn't reach it. Huh? I asked him why and he said that he wanted me to get things out for him when it was ok. Huh???? Who IS this kid and what did he do with my 4 year old boy? Who does that??? I remember being told I could only have 1-2 pieces a day and it seemed like pure torture to know I had all the candy sitting there and couldn't go nuts with it. This kid is ASKING to be kept from his. Uh, ok. We'll see how long that lasts.

Here's my boys in their costumes, so cute.

3 month pictures

2007-10-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

I've got copies for grandparents and aunts/uncle, need to get them into the mail soon. Got these done last week and I love them. Of course it helps that the subject is so darn cute!

I put Ryan in these red overalls all the time and I'm so excited that Tristan gets to wear them now too.

The Seahawks have been stinking lately, but he's still cute in the jersey. Why is it that this side-lying pose they do at this place always makes me think of a Play*girl centerfold?? LOL

My future quarterback.

3mo1w - I think I see a light at the end of the tunnel

2007-10-16T14:30:00.000-07:00

After Tristan had one of his worst sleep nights ever (waking at 4 am to 'talk' for an hour before going back to sleep, this after being fed twice already in the night) I decided that something had to change or I might not keep my sanity.

I got Dr. Richard Ferber's book (Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems) and gave it a quick read to get the basics (I'm still working on the rest of it) and decided to give it a go last night. Tristan had gone down for a nap at 5:30 and decided it was bedtime. He woke up at 9:15 to eat and wouldn't go back down. Ugh.

The basic idea is to allow them to cry/fuss for short periods of time which you keep increasing so that they learn how to put themselves to sleep and break a dependance on you/bottle/boob/etc. You check on them, but don't pick up or feed in between these progressively longer times. Anyway, I put him back down for the night at 10pm and he cried for 3min, I went in to reassure him, gave him his pacifier (we'll wean off of this later) and he went right off to sleep. He woke at 1am (I had decided to not feed him until 2am based on the book and how long he's been able to go between feedings in the past) and cried for 3min, 5min, 5min, 5min and then went back to sleep - probably w/o the pacifier in his mouth. He didn't wake up again until 4am! That proved to me that he wasn't truly hungry at 1am since hunger would have caused him to wake up sooner than 4. I fed him at 4 and he 'talked' to himself (no crying) for about 10 min before going back to sleep w/o a pacifier in his mouth and woke up happy as a clam (so was I) at 7am!

I'm using the same program for naps and the most he's needed today is one check after the 3 min. I know lots of books say that you're not supposed to sleep train until 4mo, but frankly he's already over 15lbs and eats pretty well during the day and was only snacking at night to get back to sleep so we decided to start now to save my sanity and keep him from getting any more dependant upon eating/rocking to go back to sleep.

In other news, Sunday was a great day for nursing. I'm not even sure I've mentioned much on here how he's stopped nursing in public and hardly wants to nurse during the day at all, preferring to take his milk from a bottle. That makes for a lot more work for me since I have to do all the work of nursing (pumping) and the work of bottle feeding/washing. Well, Saturday he nursed in a restaurant at lunch for the first time in weeks. Then, Sunday, we didn't really go anywhere and I got him to nurse for all but 2 feedings. Yay!! I think we'll get him back on the boob in the next few weeks.

Lastly, today was my first day back at yoga. Ryan had been taking swim lessons at the gym that coincided with yoga so I had not been able to get back yet. Being a typical 4 year old, he was preferring to play and goof around in the pool and I realized that it could take months for him to improve enough to get to move on to the next level which would allow me to do yoga. I asked him last week if he wanted to prove to me that he was going to do a better job of listening to the teacher or if he'd prefer to take a break from swim lessons and spend time in the Kids Club at the gym while I do yoga instead. He eagerly asked to go to Kids Club so we pulled him out of swimming and both of the boys went to Kids Club this morning while I was in yoga. Ahhhhh, if felt wonderful to be back. I'm not sure what part of me enjoyed it more, my mind, body, or spirit. All I know is that I feel like a new woman today.

3mo3d - What a guy!

2007-10-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a bit, been busy and tired still. Sleeping isn't much better but at least last night he went right back to sleep after a feeding. He had started a nasty little habit of wanting to be up for about 30-45 min after a feeding which is simply ridiculous at 1am. Last night was better - whew!

Took him to the ped on Thursday to check his ears because he had been waking up screaming every once in a while. Ears are fine. He weighed in at a whopping 14lb 8oz and I had them measure him as well since I think he's getting too long for his infant car seat. He was 25.5 in and the seat goes to 26in. Then he had a classic growth spurt over the weekend and now his pjs fit tighter so I'm assuming he made it to 26in by now. I installed the big convertible carseat yesterday (planning on using the smaller one in Hubby's car) and Tristan absolutely HATED it. He screamed the entire time in it. So, I've put in the smaller of the convertible seats we have in for today and hoping for a different outcome.

Now to the meat of my post. Ryan is such a precocious little guy and this morning he gave us another great story for the blog. Hubby got up with Tristan at 6:45 and the two of them were in the office playing and cooing. Tristan has found his scream/squeal voice and prefers to use that mostly in the mornings. Anyway, at about 7:15 the two of them came in to wake me up and Ryan came out of his room to join the crew. With such excitement and joy in his voice he proclaimed that mommy and daddy HAD to come see this! Hubby followed him back to his room and I expected to hear about a cool layout of cars on his streets rug in his room, but I hear Hubby say that I really should get up and see this so I extracate myself from my warm comfy bed and investigate. Ryan had opened up his blinds and NEEDED to show us the pink and orange sky outside his room. "Look mom! It's the sunrise! The sun is waking up! Isn't it pretty???" Yes, my little man, it sure is. I just wish we had a camera upstairs to take a picture of it to include with the story because it really WAS a beautiful sunrise.

12w1d - I'm...so...tired

2007-09-29T20:24:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated again since last weekend's illness. The mastitis symptoms pretty much were gone by Sunday and I'll be finishing up the antibiotics soon. Part of me wishes I had not started them yet as I think I could have kicked it w/o them. Oh well, hindsight=20/20.

I'm hoping that this past week has been Tristan going thru a growth spurt and that it explains why he's suddenly sleeping so horribly at night again. We've got a pattern of going down at about 7:30-8:00 and then waking to eat at 12:00, 3:00, 5:00, 6:30... Very tiring, to say the least. Hubby let me sleep in this morning until 9am and it was heavenly.

We keep reminding ourselves over and over that it won't be like this forever and that he will eventually learn to sleep better. Until then, I'm gonna have to tough it out I guess. And on that note, good night.

11w1d - Can I please catch a break?

2007-09-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

I have mastitis again. I got it pretty badly with Ryan and luckily it's not as bad this time, but I feel like shit. All over body aches, fever, chills, headache. Yuck. Hubby is on his way to the pharmacy right now for antibiotics. I just hope we don't end up with thrush again from the antibiotics. I was so cold last night with the chills. I had on long sleeve PJs with pants, 3 blankets and was shaking so badly that it was like I was on a vibrating bed. I would have checked my temp then, but I was too scared to get up because the room would feel so cold. Ibuprofen is my friend.

10w2d - Well, that's not going to work (& pics)

2007-09-16T20:48:00.000-07:00

So, I took the Zol.oft on Friday night and when I got up to feed Tristan at 1:30 I was really groggy. I thought, great, it's going to make me sleepy, that's perfect. Well, then once I got back to bed I couldn't get back to sleep for an hour and a half. As if the insomnia wasn't enough, my RLS flared up so badly! I haven't had any RLS issues since the 2nd trimester and BAM, one Zol.oft and my legs are running a friggin' marathon under the sheets. I tried taking it on Saturday in the late morning to see if I could tolerate the RLS better during the day. I was a walking zombie for about 3-4 hours and then the RLS was back. The zombie part was so odd - for those few hours I was so darn apathatic. You could have told me my house was on fire and I'd hardly move any faster. Those side effects are just not acceptable to me so I did not take any meds today. I'll be calling my OB tomorrow to see if there are any non-SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors) meds that are safe during breastfeeding. If not, I'll try to muscle thru this with out meds because I'm not giving up breastfeeding and I'm not taking an SSRI. I took Celexa (another SSRI) years ago and the biggest reason I wanted to get off of it was that it made my RLS so bad. Ugh.

Oddly enough, I'm feeling a lot better the last couple of days, even with a bad sleep night last night. I think just admitting that I wasn't feeling 'right' helped me to force myself to be in a better mood. When I think about dealing with those side effects for months, I'm motivated to try and work my way out of this funk on my own.

On a much happier note, we finally got those pictures from our friends. Here's some of my favorites.

10 weeks Post Partum - PPD Strikes Again

2007-09-14T16:51:00.000-07:00

I felt so confident that I had been able to dodge the bullet this time, but apparently not.

I had pretty bad PP Anxiety with Ryan and it got bad enough that I started meds. Two days later, the anxiety suddenly lifted and since the meds couldn't have kicked in yet, I stopped taking them. I didn't realize until months later when I woke up one day and realized I felt 'normal' again that I should have stayed on them, that I had still been dealing with PPD.

This time, no anxiety and I really thought things were going to be fine. I realized yesterday that it's not just sleep deprivation (although that's definitely a contributing factor) that's making me so irritable and sad - it's PPD again. Yesterday my 4yr old came up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Ryan. Hi, Cranky. Can Mommy come back now?" I've been naming his bad moods and asking that Ryan be the one who comes to the restaurants etc. with us and he turned it back on me. I realized that I was spending more and more time during the day not happy and was starting to avoid spending time with Tristan because I was getting resentful of him for my sleep deprivation and that's just not fair to him. I'm embarrassed to say that I was so cranky that when Tristan would wake up during a nap and I'd have to go back upstairs AGAIN to settle him I'd often blurt out a curse word and it got to the point that I didn't care if Ryan was in the room. I went to the doctor today and my OB gave me Zol.oft which I'll start tonight. Should take 2 weeks to kick in, here's hoping for more good sleep nights between now and then to help me get thru.

Just because it had been 10 weeks doesn't mean I was out of the woods. I hope that with time, sleep, and Zol.oft, I'll be able to find my way out of this soon. I really want to enjoy this time since I didn't enjoy it much with Ryan.

2mo6d - Check up & sleep updates

2007-09-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

Tristan's 2 mo check up was yesterday, all looks good. He's up to 13lb 7oz and 24.5 in. Somehow I thought he was longer than that, but I guess not. I talked to the doctor about how I think he might not be refluxing after all, that I think it might have more to do with my overactive letdown making him fuss on the breast and then once the flood slows down, I think he gets cranky at having to work for the rest of the milk. The dr tends to agree that it's probably not true reflux and we'll try my measures for managing the letdown for a couple of weeks and then try taking him off meds. We both think it might also just be a matter of him outgrowing some of his fussiness too.

He got 3 of 4 vaccinations yesterday too. They were out of Hib so we'll have to catch up on that one. Three was enough, let me tell you. He was a cranki-puss all afternoon and refused to nap unless he was being worn in the Moby and I had to walk the entire time. I did laps of our first floor for over an hour to keep him asleep. I guess I got some free exercise though. And to make it worse, he had slept horribly the night before - up 3 times to eat. Ugh was I tired!

Sleep update - I'm so happy to report though that last night he had his best sleep night yet. He went down by 8pm and while I did have to get up at 12:30 to give him back his binky, he didn't wake up to eat until right before 3am and didn't get up again to eat until nearly 7am. Wow, I could really get used to that!

2mo2d - Updated pics

2007-09-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

We STILL haven't gotten the studio pics from our friends. That's my goal for the weekend, get them no matter what. BUT, I do have a few other pics I can share.

With Ryan, we did monthly pics of him sitting next to this bear so you could see how big he was getting. I kick myself that we missed Tristan's 1 mo pic, but can't change that now. Here's the 2 mo version.

This next pic is one we did at 2 weeks old on our own here at home. Hubby played with it a bit and I just love it. As Hubby said, if you have a kid with a grumpy face, why not go with it?? LOL

8w4d - Now that's more like it!

2007-09-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Happy to report that after a looooong day with very few naps, last night was much better. Seems he got back on his routine of 8pm bed, feeding at 2-ish and 5-ish, up at 7-ish. Whew!

On another note, I think part of the problem on Sunday night was that he's outgrown his 0-6 mo pacifiers. I had noticed last week that sometimes I'd take the binky out and he'd have a bit of a pressure imprint on his face from it. That should have told me that he's sucking really hard to keep it in his mouth because it's too short for him now. Got him some 6mo+ ones yesterday and he took right to them. This kid's got a big mouth apparently! LOL

8w3d - Two steps forward, one BIG step back.

2007-09-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

We got the great sleep pattern one more night (down by 8, eat at 2 and 5, up at 7) but then last night, it all went to hell. We had some people over for Labor Day and right before we were ready to eat at about 6:15 or so, Tristan was showing early sleepy signs, so I took him upstairs for a nap while we ate. I was so excited that he timed it so well that I could eat in peace. By the time everyone left at 8-ish, it was clear that he didn't see this sleep session as a nap - he was down for the night. This wouldn't have been so bad except that he was not in PJs and was in a cloth diaper that would not have been absorbant enough to get us to 1 or 2am. I decided to go in at about 8:30 and carefully change him and feed him one more time. Even though my sleep book (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) says, "Never wake a sleeping baby." - more than once, I did it. Boy, was that a bad idea. Remind me to never do that again.

It took 3-4 times of me going back in w/in 30 min to put his pacifier back in his mouth to get him to finally settle. Even though he was asleep when I put him down. Then, he was up again at 12 something and again it took multiple binky rescues (about 7 I think) before I gave up and put him in the cosleeper next to me. He finally settled and was up again at 2:30 to eat. He would NOT settle after this though and by 3am I had had enough. My wonderful Hubby came in from the office (where he's taken to sleeping again to get some rest) and volunteered to stay up with Tristan for a while. He brought him back to me at 5am to eat again and I brought him back to Hubby afterwards in the family room where Hubby was watching a silly movie. I got up at 7-ish and Hubby said that Tristan had barely slept from 3-7. Oh boy. Today should be a fun day - not. Hubby just went to go take a nap - poor guy. I guess it's a right of passage as a parent to stay up for hours with a child who can't/won't sleep. I've done it with Ryan a few times when he's gotten croup and a few times with Tristan in the early weeks. It's no fun, no fun at all.

8w1d - Sleep is a beautiful thing

2007-09-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Tristan was ready for bed last night and in his crib asleep by 7:45. I was so worried that him wanting to go down so early was going to mean a loooong night for me, but happily it did not. He stirred a bit at 1:00 and was happy to go back to sleep once I gave him back his pacifier. He didn't wake to eat until 2:00, then right back to bed. He actually slept thru the diaper change and re-swaddle after eating. Not a peep until 5:15. I probably could have gotten away with another 'binky rescue' but my poor boob was so engorged I was willing to feed him. Then he slept until 7:30 this morning and by 8:45, he was down for a nap. When they say sleep begets sleep in a baby, it's so true. I feel like a new woman.

Gonna take him for a walk in the jogger (reclined) to the store later to get stuff for dinner. It's a beautiful day here in Seattle and not just because it's sunny and warm.

7w1d - No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth.

2007-08-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Sorry, been busy. We were out of town visiting FIL and his wife (feels weird to say step-MIL) in Oregon and then, well, not much time to sit at the laptop and write a post. I'll try to get better and just do little ones more frequently.

Had my 6wk PP check-up - cleared to work out again - just in time for my long-time yoga teacher (for about 8-9 years) to leave the gym I go to. He's got a studio but I can't afford those prices. I'm bummed - seriously. Don't know yet what I'm going to do for yoga classes yet as the gym hasn't hired a replacement. Guess I'll have to start with good old cardio and weights - boring! Oh yeah, and I'm officially 4lbs UNDER my pre-pg weight - without working out! How'd that happen? My clothes still don't fit right AT ALL thanks to the overstretched belly skin that might never go back on it's own, but at least the number on the scale is being nice to me even if the number on the back of my pants isn't.

Still haven't gotten pics yet - working on it. Here's a blurry smile from yesterday - he won't hold still when he's smiling/laughing so they're all blurry.

Here, he seems to be saying, "Put 'em up, put 'em up!" He wiggles around so much lately, cracks me up!
I finished the blanket I have been knitting for Tristan. I'd planned to finish it on the day he was born but he had other ideas. I'll post a pic of this soon too. I love how it turned out. It's pretty big - crib sized and yarn is so soft and yummy. I taught myself how to do a cable stitch and how to weave in the ends for this project.
Ok, he's awake, more later.

ETA: Ok, it's later and I just had to add this. Tristan rolled from his tummy to his back - TWICE! I put him on his belly/elbows to look at the mirror on his activity mat and he almost immediately decided he'd rather not be in that position and rolled over. Put him back and he did it again!! I think this kid is going to keep my on my toes - rolling over at 7wks??? Oh boy.

1m 1d - First smiles

2007-08-07T16:03:00.000-07:00

Tristan gave us his first voluntary smile on Saturday. It was so cute. Daddy was holding him and gets to claim the first smile - lucky dog! It was good timing too, as some friend's of ours who are photographers came by to take some pics. I think we caught the real smile in at least one pic, I should have them soon and will post some then. Our friends are doing mostly weddings right now, but hope to branch out to include child/baby portraits too so we get to have fun being their guinea pigs.

Now, I know it's not an official weight because he had a (clean) diaper on and it wasn't the most accurate scale, but I did the whole weigh us together then me and subtract thing today and according to that, this kid already weighs 13 pounds! Yes, I meant to type 1-3, that is not a typo. You might notice from the title of this post that he's only 1 day into his 2nd month. Yowza! We have our official 1 month check up next week so I'll get an 'official' weight then. I swear he's a lot longer too, he's grown out of about half of his 0-3 month clothes - at ONE MONTH OLD! I find this fact so amusing.

My MIL left today to go home and Hubby and NSWO and I are all a bit sad to see her go. It was a lovely visit. I pumped a couple of bottles this morning to take in the car so we wouldn't have to be held up by a hungry baby and MIL was feeding him some milk as we pulled up to the curb at the airport. It was so sweet, she looked at Tristan and said, "Do you think you can keep drinking this milk for the next several weeks so I have to stay?"

The thrush is still here, not sure the Rx meds did much of anything for the gas, although his diaper rash did seem to get better. We're doing a few days of Gentian Violet and if this doesn't clear it up by later this week, I'll call the doctor to see what Rx med we should try next. Tristan still wakes up with painful gas during the night and sometimes during the day, but overall, his sleeping is a bit better. He seems to be falling into a pattern of waking sometime between 1:30-2:00am, then about 4:45-5:00am and again at 6:30-7:00am. Not too bad for a one month old - hoping it continues to get even better in the next month.

So, I realized the other day that it's silly to keep refering to my oldest as NSWO (Not So Wee One) if I'm going to call the Wee One (WO??) by his first name. I guess I should stop using WO's name, but why not use NSWO's name? Anyway, after a bit of thought (that took about 16 seconds I think) I'd rather use my boys' names since I like them so much. So, without further ado and rambling from me - NSWO's actual name is Ryan.

4w old - The battle with thrush

2007-08-03T08:27:00.001-07:00

Tristan and I are dealing with thrush. This is no fun at all. Not as bad for me - I get shooting pains in my nipples after a feeding, but really it's not much worse than the pins and needles feeling when your leg falls asleep. Poor Tristan though has it rougher. He's got the white patches in his mouth so at times during the day he'll not want to nurse because it's uncomfortable. He's also got a nasty diaper rash, but the Rx cream is helping that one pretty well. The biggest issue for him is that the yeast overgrowth has made it into his intestines. If you think about what yeast does to bread dough, you can imagine that everytime he nurses, the milk feeds the yeast in his gut and they explode causing serious gas bubbles for the little guy. Mostly at night too. I can feel the bubbles rumbling around in there and he grunts and cries out until he's able to fart it all out. He mostly sleeps thru these attacks, but unfortunately, I do not. It gets to the point that the only thing that will soothe him is to feed him and then the whole thing starts over again. Ugh. He's on oral meds and the cream, but I'm not sure it's helping yet. We did the Gentian Violet stuff one night, but it turned his lips so purple that I want/need to wait until after we do pictures tomorrow before doing it more.

I'm on meds too, but not sure they're enough, I may have to move on to something more powerful which I really don't want to do.

I think this kid could sleep sooo much better if we could get rid of this gas. I thought it was getting better for a couple of nights and he actually slept from 10pm to 3am night before last. Unfortunately, last night was back to the multiple awakenings and I'm exhausted again. Will definitely be needing a nap today.

In happier news, Hubby's mom is in town visiting and we're all having a great time. Wish me luck that the thrush clears up soon so we can all get some rest.

In Memoriam - for Aria and her family

2007-07-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

I post on Fertility Friend and there is a nice group of ladies that are/were due in July together. We have gone thru our entire pregnancies together and seen lots of highs and lows during that time. Today, we were dealt a devastating blow as a group. One of our members, Aria, who was having her second child went in on Thursday evening to be induced at 41+ weeks. Her fluid levels had risen enough that her doctor didn't want to wait any longer. During the night, while her husband slept, Aria had an apparent Amniotic Embollism. They rushed her into an emergency c-section and her son, Max, was delivered safely. Aria, unfortunately, did not survive and died a short time later. Aria also has a beautiful daughter Maezie and a loving husband, Ryan who will miss her terribly.

I find myself in tears everytime I think about Aria and see in my mind the picture she used on the forums of her with her family. She has such joy in her eyes in that picture and I just can't believe she's gone. It amazes me how someone I've never met can stir such a reaction, but the friendships I have formed online are so very special to me. More than I ever anticipated.

Another July mom created this 'blinkie' as a way of remembering Aria.

And yet another July mom wrote this poem that breaks my heart.

She touched so many,
She never knew.
Inside her belly-
Her future grew.

A daughter then son
And husband by her side
She lived on top of the world
She was down for the wildest ride.

The lioness they called her
Aria was her name.
The lord came to call her.
There is no one to blame

Hush my babies,
Don’t you cry
In clouds of angels
Mommy sings you a lullaby.

In memory of Aria 2007
-Justine O

Happy Birthday to me!

2007-07-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hubby went out this morning and got me donuts for breakfast and we did lunch at my favorite Chinese place - yum! Tristan even slept thru the entire lunch which was nice. We're having a few neighbors over for appetizers and cake tonight. Pretty much a low-key birthday, but given it's the third in 2 weeks' time, I guess that's to be expected. I think starting next year, we need to move my celebration to August 20th just to give us a break from celebrating.

34 is treating me pretty well so far I must say. Two beautiful boys, an amazing husband, a great mom out here helping us adjust. Only downfall is the crazy, insane dachshund, but I guess you can't win them all, right?

As of this morning, I'm happy to report that I'm w/in 11lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight. How is that even possible? And yet, all of my non-maternity pants won't fit for weeks. I'm living in yoga pants for a while, hoping I won't need to dress up anytime soon cause I have nothing to wear!

Breastfeeding is going better too, Tristan's latch seems to be getting much better and I don't need the nipple shield as often anymore and the nipple ointment stuff really works well. Whew!

I know I still owe everyone a post on the emotional side of things, mulling it over in my head, hoping to get it commited to text soon.

1w6d - BumGenius Baby

2007-07-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

Here's Tristan in his first Bum Genius All-In-One Cloth Diaper. Trust me, even though he's screaming in the picture, he loves them. He just hates diaper changes. These things are so awesome! Just as easy to use as disposables and reusable and WAAAAY cuter!! I did plan to use a bunch of Kissaluv fitted diapers with covers, but turns out that's too many steps for me and Squirt wasn't patient enough for me to get it figured out. I think I'll just stick with the Bum Genius for now. I've got a friend who wants to buy the KLs from me anyway for her baby she's expecting soon so it all works out. I have some of the One Size pockets from BG too, but haven't used them yet. Somehow they seem like they'd be too bulky on the little guy.

It's been a busy week. NSWO's bday party on Monday was a huge hit! Hard to believe he's 4 already. He got lots of fun presents including a few games that are fun for Mom and Dad too.

Wednesday was also our day of pediatrician appointments for the boys. Since they're birthdays are so close together, I'll be able to schedule them together for years to come which will be nice. I didn't realize that NSWO was going to need 5 immunizations though - poor guy! I think it was harder on me and my post-partum hormones than it was on him though. He was such a trooper and didn't even want any Motrin afterwards.

Tristan is doing very well. He's nearly back to his birth weight already at 12days old and he's officially 'off the charts' for length, weight, and head circumfrence. His latch seems to be improving a lot and the LC gave me some 'all purpose nipple ointment' that the pharmacy at the hospital mixes up to get my nips to heal up faster. His feedings are starting to be faster and better spaced as well. I asked the LC when babies who do this cluster feeding thing tend to stop and she said, "When you're completely fed up and ready to quit nursing usually they'll give you a break." My response was, "Oh good, so tomorrow should be better?" And it was, oddly enough. He's starting to get a bit of a routine at night too - feeding at 10pm, 1am, 4am, 7am for the most part. We had pizza last night though and apparently he's not a big fan. Poor guy had horrible gas all night long - I'll definitely be needing a nap today.

0w7d - Official Due Date & official nickname

2007-07-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

Tristan is a week old today, although he looks about 2 months old.

I'm so happy to report that we both got some GREAT sleep last night. Nighttime feeds still take an hour, but he let me sleep from 10-1, then 2-4 and 5-7. In fact, as I type this, he's still asleep at 8am.

Tristan has officially earned his nickname too - Squirt. From the first moments out of the womb when he peed at my face into the window of the drape, to the first diaper change for Daddy where he nailed Daddy right in the front of his shorts (making it appear as if Daddy had peed himself), to the numerous times he's showered himself and me in the last week - this kid is definitely a Squirt.

Last night, he added a new trick to his squirt regimine. During the 4am feeding, I was changing his poopy diaper before offering him the second breast. I've since learned my lesson to keep a cloth diaper draped over his penis to keep the shower from getting everywhere. No sooner had I put the new diaper under his bum than he started to fill it up again. Oh crud! Grab another wipe, another diaper and start over. I was bringing the diaper over to put it under his bum and he squirted again - this time I caught it, but it got all over my hand in the process. Mind you, I'm downstairs by myself and everyone else is peacefully asleep upstairs. Luckily, my mom is staying with us and happened to be awake and came downstairs to see if I needed help. All in all, I think we went thru 4-5 diapers for that one diaper change! Crazy.

Oh, yes, and lest we forget yesterday's bath adventure. Squirt's first bath at home and he's all nice and clean and cuddled in a warm soft fluffy towel with Daddy when we hear it. That sound that means he's not alone in that towel anymore. Then it happens again, and again. Thank goodness I hadn't emptied the bath water yet so we dipped the bottom half in a few times and Nana got a new towel. This time, the cuddles were cut short in favor of a diapered bottom. Ah, the joys of parenting a newborn.

I'll get more pics up soon, I promise.

0w5d - I forgot how much it hurts in the beginning.

2007-07-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

Nursing, that is. This kid likes to eat - a LOT - and my poor nipples are getting so beat up. We had our appointment yesterday at the Post Partum Care Center yesterday. This is a regular part of OB care at my hospital and everyone is encouraged to be seen by one of the nurses/lactation consultants about 4-5 days post partum to catch any issues early. Even those who bottle feed and had normal vaginal deliveries can benefit. Anyway, turns out that while Tristan starts out his latch well enough with a wide open mouth, after a few sucks, he's been letting a lot of the areola slip out and ending up with just the nipple and it's starting to take a toll on my breasts. Part of it was doing the side-lying position during the night - I couldn't see very well how his latch was and he was lazier than usual during the night. Last night, I ended up not going to bed at all and slept in the arm chair downstairs with him in my arms when we weren't actually nursing so I could leave a light on dimly and be able to see better what was going on. I ended up only getting about 2 hours of sleep in total - that sucked. Hubby got up at 6am and took Tristan so I could go to bed for a couple more hours which really helped.

The LC that we met with yesterday had us tally up the number of wet/poopy diapers as well as the number of nursing sessions in 24hrs. Turns out, he fed 21 times in 24 hours. No wonder my nipples are killing me! We worked on his latch issues and I'm hopeful that things will improve quickly. I also have a very small spot on my incision that is opened up a tiny bit. OB took a look and said it's not a problem, just keep the spot clean and it will heal up just fine. The only problem for me is that I never know what movement or position is going to make that spot feel like my skin is tearing apart. Hoping that heals up quickly too, I'm sure it will.

I have another blog topic swimming around in my brain (a few actually) but time is limited right now so they'll have to wait. One topic is how things are going with the emotions this time around. I'm feeling 180* different from last time which makes me so unbelievably happy. I'll elaborate soon, but for now, I'm not worried about PPD coming back and hopeful that it will continue to be this way, even with hard nights like last night.

0w3d - Announcing the arrival of Tristan Roark

2007-07-08T06:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated before now, been a bit busy.

Hubby and I went to the OB appointment and the mild contractions and bloody show had continued. My OB said he was fine with us going home and waiting to see if this was real labor or just a false alarm. He did check my cervix which was just beginning to dilate and was effacing and very soft. The contractions were getting uncomfortable enough that I doubted we'd be able to wait it out the rest of the day and overnight so we begrudgingly opted to go for the surgery on Friday, one day early.

They had me checked in pretty quickly, and luckily, my friend Lisa, who had agreed to videotape the surgery for me was nearby and able to get to the hospital in time. Surgery went great and Tristan Roark A__ was born at 1:07 pm on July 6, 2007. As for our guesses on his weight, we were all a bit surprised. Myriam and Gramma Sue were closest as this moose came out at 10lb 3oz and 21 1/2 in long. He peed and pooped almost immediately and let me tell you, this kid has a good set of lungs!

Healing has been going very well and I was up and walking within about 9 hours of surgery. I did have some trouble with nausea Friday evening and vomited a few times, but now that my body is functioning better, that has passed and I was able to resume solid food yesterday. Pain is quite tolerable (way better than last time) and the nurses and I are both surprised at how little pain meds I am needing.

As for the name, Tristan is from Welsh folklore and Roark is Irish and means "famous ruler". We looked for a family name on my side, but didn't find anything that would work well with Tristan and my grandmother (who had 10 children) used a lot of R names, so this ties him back to my side of the family a bit.

Tristan and I are doing well with breastfeeding, but I think he's ready for the milk to be here already. Hoping it shows up today as he did drop 5% of his birthweight at yesterday's check and if he drops too much more today, they may want me to supplement a bit until the milk arrives. He's mostly very calm, but when he gets a gas bubble, he goes from 0-60 in about 2 sec. flat. Last night, he actually slept in my arms from 10pm-5am. I kept trying to offer him the breast, but he'd rather sleep. Feels odd to be so confused about which to prefer right now. I want him to be a good sleeper, but want him to eat well too. He made up for it I think by nursing for an hour straight just now - back and forth 3 times each - and he's acting like he wants more, so I'll have to wrap up soon.

Here's a few pics to tide you over until I can update again. Hopefully going home from the hospital today.

39w0d - final belly pic & update

2007-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

My mom got into town on Wednesday evening. We had a great time at the parade in town, about a mile from our house. Walking in the heat was not an option and parking is so nuts that if we drove down, we'd end up walking nearly as far so the only logical option was to ride our bikes. Hubby and NSWO have a sort of tandem set up with an extention bike for the little guy, and I have my beach cruiser (LOVE IT!!) so we rode down. I think I caused a bit of a stir - riding a bike with a belly as big as mine, but really it was easier and faster than walking at this point.

Yesterday was my last day at yoga for a while and I was fairly sad to know I won't be back for several weeks. I got a pic of me in headstand one last time to share and for me to remember.

Today, I have an OB appointment and we have to get bags finished packing, etc. I've also got to finish the blanket I'm knitting for the Bean. I figure if I knit all day long, I should be able to finish it in time.

Well, I thought I could, but apparently, this kid has a wicked sense of humor, already. Remember how this pregnancy started with a surprise BFP? (Odd to have a surprise when you've been trying for 2.5 yrs, but still.) Well, it looks like this kid might not care that I negotiated a SUPER COOL birth date for him because I woke up to bloody show this morning and we'll see if I'll be leaving the hospital after my OB appointment or not. Can you stand the irony if he decides to come out today and ruin all my plans for a cool birthday???? I guess he's already telling me I'm not as in charge as I think I am.

Anyway, here's the last belly pic, I'll update later today either way.

38w0d - the final days

2007-06-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

Here's today's belly pic. Hubby saw my profile the other day and asked me, "How do you carry that around?" Um, I don't have a choice?
Here's the lastest progression pic, seems like yet another growth spurt from the Bean.

OB appointment on Thursday was actually rather boring, but at this stage, that's good. Weight gain was only a half pound, blood pressure, urine, heartbeat were all good as well. OB's guess from feeling baby thru the belly is 9+ lbs currently. I go back for my last OB visit a week from today.

I found this poem the other day that really speaks to some of what I'm feeling right now. It's about adding another child to the family and how that affects the first one. I find myself feeling sad about the pregnancy being over soon and more sad about my alone time with NSWO coming to an end. Almost as if he can tell things are about to completely change, he has become so sweet and adorable - even more so than usual. Anyway, here's the poem, you may need a tissue, I do.

Loving Two (Author Unknown)

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly, I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: How could I love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch as the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared before. I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me," And I hear myself telling you in mine "I can't." Knowing, in fact, that I never can again. You cry, I cry with you. I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him - as though I am betraying you. But, then, I notice your resentment change, first curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But, something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times - only we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how he adores you, as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments, and I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you. I notice I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally as strong. And my question is finally answered to my amazement. Yes! I can love another child as much as I love you - only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I know you'll never share my love. There's enough of that for both or you - you each have your own supply.

I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.

37w5d - Shall we try to guess The Bean's birth weight?

2007-06-27T16:36:00.000-07:00

As the final days tick by, I find that my clothes no longer fit. My pants won't stay up, my shirts won't stay down and I've given up caring. LOL I get lots of comments about being ready to pop and how big the belly is. Surprisingly, they don't bother me - they're right, this belly IS big.

So, I thought it might be fun if anyone who is interested officially puts down their guess for birth weight (assuming we make it to the c/s date on 07/07/07 which I think we will) in the comments. Who's game?

Background info: He's been measuring ahead since the NT scan. Last fundal height put me 3wks ahead. Ultrasound at ~32wks guessed 5lb 15oz. The one at 36wk0d guessed 8lb 11oz. My c/s will be at 39w1d.

My first son was born 8 days ahead of his due date at 8lb 8oz and 22.25in long. Hubby and I are both just about 6' tall. If you want to include a guess on length - feel free. I'll update my guess later, don't want to skew anyone's guesses.

37w1d - Two Week Wait - the good kind

2007-06-23T08:29:00.000-07:00

Two weeks from today, from this very moment, I will be holding my son in my arms. Or maybe Hubby will be holding him - I'll still be numb from the spinal.

For most women dealing with infertility the term "two week wait" is a concept filled with anticipation, wonder, hope, dread, and even fear. Two weeks of waiting after ovulation (or an insemination, or an egg retrieval for IVF) to find out if your dreams will come true. Unfortunately, for many of us, most of those Two Week Waits did not end like a dream, but more like a nightmare that we just couldn't wake up from. Many of the gals still in the trenches are hoping to wake up from that nightmare soon. I hope they do - very soon. Some of us have gotten lucky and gotten our dream ending. I am so amazingly grateful to be one of them.

2.5 years of TTC, 1 miscarriage, and 9 months of pregnancy and now it all comes down to my last EVER two week wait.

37w0d - belly pic and OB appt update

2007-06-22T13:48:00.000-07:00

OB appointment went well. I think I only gained a pound in the last week and I'd like to think it was his weight gain, not mine. LOL My blood pressure was normal (whew!) and heartbeat was good. He checked my cervix (my only internal exam - yay!!) and the cervix is still tightly closed so no risk of imminent labor this week.

Here's the big ol' belly as of today.

Here's the progression with this week added. Belly is more rounded again. This kid keeps kicking me in the same spot on the right side of my belly and I swear it's going to bruise soon. LOL

36w6d - Awww, you make me blush!

2007-06-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much guys, you're too sweet. I am so pleased with how the pictures turned out.

The hands on the belly and the flower one were my idea. Hehehe And I did that manicure myself the night before. Told Hubby, "I just saved us $30!"

Heather - I did model for a while after college but I was technically 'too old' at that point and to do it now I'd have to lose way more weight than I want to so I just don't. It was fun while I did it though. I should dig out some of my old modeling pics to post someday. That would be a trip.

Today, at yoga, we did handstands for the first time in a few weeks. My arms felt strong enough, but I was simply unable to push up hard enough to get up against the wall. The belly (and the Bean) is simply too big and heavy now. Sniff, sniff. I was hoping to be able to continue handstands until the very end. At least my headstands are still going strong. On Tuesday, I was so tired and sore that I wondered if I should keep going to yoga class, but I felt so much better after class and felt great yesterday and today so I KNOW it's not a matter of should I go, I MUST go to keep feeling as good as possible.

Lots of gals in the blogosphere and on FF are having their babies and it just gets me so excited and nervous about the Bean's impending arrival. The amnesia from last time is lifting and I'm getting a bit scared of the pain and discomfort that's coming. And, oh boy, I'm hoping the anxiety and depression do NOT return this time. I feel like I'm almost at the top of the big hill on the roller coaster and I've done this one before so I know it's a wild ride. The anticipation is getting higher by the day.

Tiny dancer

2007-06-19T17:41:00.001-07:00

36w4d - Maternity pics

2007-06-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

My photographer sent me the link to the maternity pics slideshow today. Just a warning that there are a few pics of me in full silhoette. You don't 'see' anything, but you see the outline of everything. Be forewarned. I'll probably not leave the link up for more than a few days just for my own privacy sake.

Anyway, here's the link to the slideshow. (Edited - link removed.)

36w2d - a whole bunch of updates today

2007-06-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

First off, let me just say - I'm tired. Emotionally, I'm ok being pregnant for 3 more weeks, but physically, this is getting exhausting. I'm officially at the point where I can't NOT waddle when I walk.
Belly pic - I think he's dropped, what do you think? First, here's this week's pic.
Now, here's a collage of the last 4 pics at 32wks, 34wks, 35wks, and 36wks. Seems bigger and lower to me. Like he's hanging farther out front - it sure feels that way.

Ultrasound update: We had a final ultrasound on Friday to get a gauge for how big he's getting. At our last ultrasound at about 32 weeks, he was estimated at 5lb 15oz. Given the textbook average of 1/2 lb per week, I generously predicted he'd be at 8lb 3oz. I was close, but not quite. He's estimated at 8lb 11oz as of Friday. Holy moose, Batman! No wonder my belly feels so heavy. And the fact that he's so heavy and I think he's dropped to some degree is wreaking havoc on my poor pelvis. My pubic bone pain is back and now my sacrum is also being affected. My cervix has shortened a bit from 5cm to about 3.5cm too but I don't think that means labor will be starting anytime soon.

Shower update: Last Sunday, my lovely neighbor hosted a shower at her house for me along with another neighbor and a friend. It was so lovely of everyone to come by and wish this baby well. We got some nice things that I'm very grateful for. A new bouncer and a lot of the supplies we still need for cloth diapering. I had told myself mentally that I couldn't be impatient about the pregnancy being over until after the shower and now that it's done, I'm starting to feel excited and anxious. Here's a picture from the shower. The cake is a bunch of cupcakes so you can just pull one off instead of someone having to cut and serve the cake. Very cute.
Maternity pictures update: We went to see the proofs from the photo shoot this week and WOW, she did such a great job. It's a shame that the prints/images are so darned expensive because there are so many good ones. We placed an order and the total cost made me nauseous. If it weren't for the fact that this is the last time I expect to ever look this way I would regret the cost. I think years down the road though, we're not going to worry about that aspect and just enjoy the pictures. I'm working with the photographer to get a few of them in web ready JPEG format so I can post them on here and hope to have them soon. Also, I'm hoping she can get the entire shoot up on her website temporarily so that famiy can view them and order prints if they want. Stay tuned.

Progress update: I think I actually had a 'real' contraction yesterday. I've had tons of Braxton Hicks ones for weeks now so as I stood in the kitchen and felt my belly tighten, I was not phased. I leaned over the back of the kitchen chair to pick something up off the table and found that if I tried to stand up, it really hurt across the bottom part of the belly. I bent back over a bit and it felt better. This lasted for about 20-30 seconds and then it was over. No repeats either so I don't think labor is emminent. Hubby did say the other day that he doesn't think I'll make it to the surgery date and I've had a few others say that too. I guess the fact that I'm carrying around more than most full-term babies right now, it's totally possible that my body will assume it's time to get him out soon. We'll see I guess. My mom isn't arriving until July 4th though, so it would throw off my carefully laid plans if he were to try and get here before she does. Besides, he'd be giving up such a cool birthday if he gets impatient. Do you think he'd stay put if I asked nicely?

35w0d - belly pic

2007-06-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Short and sweet this week. Here's the latest belly pic. Seems like the sudden growth spurt is calming down a bit and my weight gain is slowing too - thank goodness! LOL Seems like the belly hasn't changed that much in the pics at least. We were supposed to go look at the maternity pictures today, but Hubby had a schedule conflict so we'll go next Tuesday to see them. I can't wait! Hubby and I are going to have a date night tomorrow to go see Knocked Up - should be fun.

Edited to add:
Knocked Up was pretty good. The guys group was pretty crude sometimes and it felt over the top, but Hubby assured me that they are just being guys. Oh man, and I'm getting ready to have another one of those Y choromosome afflicted beings!! LOL I had a bit of a hard time buying into the idea that Katherine Heigl would fall for that guy, but overall it was good. It was a funny, yet realistic view on pregnancy and relationships. There was an arguement scene between the other two main characters and the entire time I was thinking, "We've had fights like this. I totally believe this dialogue." Hubby commented at dinner afterwards that he felt the same way about it. I did get quite a few looks coming out of the theater which was funny.

I'm officially at the point where I'm running out of clothes. My shower is tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to wear. I have one dress that fits, but it only fits because it's gathered above the belly and then sort of flares out/hangs down from there. Needless to say, with a belly this big, I'd look like a tent! I literally have one pair of pants that are not yoga pants that still fit. And I still have to fit 4 more weeks of growth somehow.

Oh yeah, it hit me earlier today that I only have 4 weeks to go. 4 short weeks from today (from this morning actually) this baby will be here. How did it all go by so quickly?

34w3d - NSWO is so cute!

2007-06-04T22:17:00.001-07:00

NSWO had a friend over this morning for a playdate/babysitting thing. At one point, he came into the family room from the front living room to let me know what they were playing. "Mom, we're playing Mommy, Daddy, and Baby." He was the Daddy, his friend was the Mommy and NSWO's doll was the baby. Very cute. Then later, once his friend left, he declared that he and I should play and that I needed to be the Daddy. He said that he was going to be the Mommy and then got the doll and stuffed it into the front of his t-shirt. I about peed myself laughing. Then, he said he had to feed his baby. My friend was over and she asked him if he was going to feed it from a bottle or his breast? NSWO then said a bottle and that he needed to go "milk his baby".

Kids are so funny.

34w0d - belly pic and maternity photo shoot

2007-06-01T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have an OB appointment later today, so I'll update the post with that info later. I'm into the every 2 week appointments now - time is flying! Tomorrow is our Happiest Baby on the Block class at the hospital, very excited. Should be a great refresher for Hubby and I both. Next Sunday is my shower. Things are really moving along now.

NWSO's last day of preschool was yesterday, we had a picnic at the local park. Great weather for it too. Sunny and warm, but not too hot. I don't think he gets what a big deal the last day of school is, maybe it will be more important next year.

This past Wednesday, we did a photo shoot at a nearby studio to commemorate this big ol' belly. It was really nice. She does a lot of baby and kid photos too. Since I'm not a shy person I didn't have issue with being exposed during the shoot and we did a lot of cool stuff. Some of it a la Demi Moore's Vanity Fair cover from years back. We also did some where I'm nude and backlit so it comes out as a silhouette. Can't wait to see how they turned out. Hubby and NSWO were there too in bare chests and jeans (looks silly for them to fully clothed when I'm baring so much skin - trust me, it looks good.) so we could get some fully family shots. Hubby looked fabulous, as always. NSWO surprised me by doing an amazing job. Whenever we had him in a shot, he turned it on like a pro- soooo cute. It was really good for my self-esteem to be able to feel beautiful and even a little sexy with this body that is just sooooo different. I'm really starting to feel very cumbersome in my own body and this was a great reminder of just how special this time is.

So, in honor of my new found appreciation of my pregnant form, I decided to take my belly pic this week in the bikini I wore in Hawaii while pregnant with NSWO years ago. Still can't figure out how/why all my stretchmarks don't show in pictures, so I'm just gonna go with it.

ETA: OB appointment update from today. I love my OB's scale so much more than mine. It said I've only gained 3lbs in the last 2 weeks which brings us to a total of 27lbs. BP is good too. As the OB was getting ready to listen for the heartbeat on the doppler, The Bean did a bit of tumbling and the doctor's eyes got big and he joked that we didn't need to listen for a hb, we could just watch his little show. We chatted about what to expect for the next month or so and what to do if I were to go into labor before the scheduled c/s (NOT going to happen btw). He agreed to let my friend videotape the surgery too. VERY excited about that. With NSWO, the window on the drape was too high for me to see any of the surgery. Not that I could have seen beyond the big old belly anyway. I can't wait to get to watch my c/s later on in all it's gory details. Yes, I know how weird I am.

32w0d - updated belly pic

2007-05-18T16:26:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest belly pic in all it's glory. My isn't that thing getting awfully round?? LOL
A frontal shot. Nice beach ball, huh? NWSO commented yesterday about how I have hardly any belly button left. I think it might actually make it to an outie this time.
Had my 32 wk OB appointment today too. Gained 7lbs in the last month and boy do I feel every ounce of it - hanging in front of me! That brings the total weight gain to 24lbs. At least we know that a minimum of 6lbs of that is him. Makes it easier to stomach somehow. In yoga, I'm really noticing the difference in my weight and how it's so far forward. Maneuvering into and out of poses is getting to be a workout in and of itself. One gal in class commented yesterday that she can see how the weight of the belly is trying to pull me down as I get up into handstands. It IS getting to be more work to get up there, but so far they're still happening and once I'm up, they still feel great.

Hubby is home now from his last business trip. He won't be heading out on the road again until after The Bean gets here (well after I hope). It's nice to have him back but honestly, it's a bit weird. Sometimes I feel like there is a visitor at the house - I just got so used to it being NSWO and I by ourselves. We'll get back into the swing of things soon.

I found a mini co-sleeper for pretty cheap on craigslist.com (LOVE that site!! Just be sure to include the 's' in the address - trust me.) so we'll have that in lieu of a bassinet in our bedroom in the beginning and since it folds up so well, we can take it with us when we go to visit Grandad and Grandma Jan in Oregon after he gets here. Plus, I should be able to re-sell it after we're done. Sidenote - if you like craigslist, you'll LOVE listpic.com. It's the ads from craigslist, but only the ones with pics and it's displays the pics to browse thru. If you see something you like, you click on it to see the text with the ad. Brilliant!

31w5d - ultrasound pics

2007-05-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

Today was my last 'big' ultrasound at the Maternal-Fetal Medicine Center. We checked on his kidneys, bladder, and his overall growth. Overall, the news is good. His left kidney is still measuring slighty above normal, but given his size they're not too worried about it. I expect that we'll be keeping an eye on his kidney after he's born and be on the alert for an increased risk of kidney infections or UTIs.

As I said above, he's measuring big. This is not new news. He's been consistently measuring ahead for weeks now. Four weeks ago at the OB office he was estimated to be 3lb 4oz (+/- 1lb). Today, almost 4 weeks later they estimate that this little chunky monkey is already 5lb 15oz (+/- 1lb). Yes, you read that right. I still have 7 weeks of growth to go and he's just under 6lbs - ALREADY! Heck, I was not that much over 6lbs at birth!! At this rate, he'll easily be over 9lbs by the time he comes out. I've said it before, but I'm so glad I don't have to push this kid out the hard way! LOL His head is measuring about 36 weeks.

And now, for the pics. This kid has had his hands in front of his face ever since the first time we did 3D pics at 21wks. Apparently, he likes them there. We actually saw him sucking on one of his hands today - so cute!

Here's what we could get of a face shot with that darn hand/arm in the way. Being a fetus is tough work!

Here, we get to see his chubby face. His right hand/arm is moved under his chin. That thing you see up by his forehead is his right foot. Yes, he's already doing yoga - very impressive!!Granted, I'm a little bit biased, but he's a very cute baby! And in so many ways he's already so different from his brother. I guess I'd better get used to it. I've been washing up the rest of NSWO's baby clothes and it just brings back so many memories of him in those cute outfits. I wonder how this one is going to look in them. Big.

31w2d - Happy Mother's Day!

2007-05-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

My shower for NSWO was this weekend 4 years ago. My mom and my mother-in-law both came to town for the shower and it was just so lovely. Even my future son gave me a present that day. Of course, his wasn't quite as desired. I got my very first stretchmark on Mother's Day 2003. Apparently, he assumed I enjoyed my gift so he just kept on giving them to me. LOL So far, this one is content to share and hasn't added to the litany of lines on my belly. I sure hope it stays that way, but we'll see.

This year, my Mother's Day weekend isn't quite as festive. Hubby is out of town on yet another business trip. Poor guy, he's been gone so much lately and just wants to be at home. NWSO and I couldn't agree more. Hubby realized that with trips and working long/extra hours lately that he hasn't had a full weekend at home in months. This should be the last of it though, so at least he's able to finish up the big push of it before The Bean gets here.

Growing up, Mother's Day was a day to do something nice for Mom. That was about it. Now, on the other side of the coin, it has so much more meaning. I was explaining to NSWO yesterday about what today is and what it means. I told him thank you for making me a mom and how lucky I am that I get to be his mommy. Then the pregnancy hormones kicked in and I teared up while I explained that I am so amazingly lucky to get to be a mommy again to his little brother. He looked at me and told me not to cry, and I explained that sometimes people are soooo happy that it makes them cry.

Today, watching the Discovery Health channel's shows on multiples I realize just how lucky I am to be getting my ideal of 2 kids. I'm watching a show about a woman in the UK who did donor sperm IUI and got one girl. Then tried again nearly immediately and needed drugs to get more eggs and ended up with quads. Apparently, not content to let things rest, they went for it again and got quads - again! One of those quads didn't make it, so they have 9 kids under 3 years old. Allow me to repeat that so you can take in the significance of it - 9 children under the age of 3 years old. And they're saying that they'd like a few more, that 12 would be good. Huh??? Just watching the chaos of their house makes me exhausted. I know that I can do 2 kids, I am amazingly impressed by moms who have it in them to juggle more than that.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you who are juggling your broods today, whether that be 1 or 17 (like the famous Duggar family). For those of you anticipating your first child(ren) in the coming months, this day will never be the same again.

31w0d - back from the trip

2007-05-11T09:04:00.000-07:00

I do not recommend flying cross-country at 30wks pg. The flights weren't too bad (save for NSWO refusing to nap and being a general pain in the ass on the flight to Chicago) and the support hose things kept the swelling away. The hotel bed, on the other hand, left MUCH to be desired. Our room had two double beds and Hubby and NSWO took one of them so I could flop around on the other one with out waking them. I had the air conditioning cranked, the ceiling fan going and slept with just the sheet over me. The boys were bundled up in PJs and buried under blankets and I was still too hot. Thank you hormones!! LOL

I totally forgot to do a belly shot for 30wks and Hubby has the camera with him at work today so I'll have to do one later tonight to post. I think the Bean has grown again.

I don't know if any of you who are currently pregnant are experiencing this, but my kid has decided that 9:30pm is his favorite time of day to spaz out in there. I swear the other night it was like he was trying to bust out of the sides and the bottom all at the same time. His pushing against my cervix was so strong that I was cringing in pain from it. Darn kid - chill out in there a bit, would ya??

So the Social Security Administration came out with their name rankings for 2006 today. You can see the full list here. For those family members who are itching to guess the name, I can tell you that the first name is in the top 100, but not the top 10. The middle name isn't even in the top 1000 names for the last 15 years. How's that for vague??? Have fun guessing.

I'll post soon about the wedding and I'll have some pics too.

29w3d - We have a future birthday!

2007-04-30T20:44:00.000-07:00

I finally got a surgery date today from my OB's office. We are going to meet the Bean face to face on Saturday, July 7, 2007! Yep, we got our 7/7/07 birthday for him. So excited!! This makes it seem even more real too.

Guess that means we should get the nursery finished, huh? Right now there's all the stuff that was in the guest room and office dumped in there. The crib is set up, and the dresser is still there since NSWO was using them up until very recently. But, there's still a bunch of stuff in the attic that needs to be brought down and sorted out. The swing, the carseat, the bouncy (I think that may have broken, now that I think about it), the baby tub, etc. all need to come down from storage, not to mention the rest of the baby clothes so I can get them washed and put away. I think I may have unintentionally tossed out a bunch of extra baby-sized clothes hangers too, and since NSWO's clothes still fit on them, I really DO need them still. Hoping they're just in a box in the attic too. Just gotta get Hubby to be home long enough to get up there to get the stuff down. Hmmm, I guess this is the beginning of nesting, ya think?

Got my mom's flight booked so she's all set for coming out to stay with NSWO and to help us all out and enjoy baby time with the Bean. She'll be here about 3 weeks total, I hope she's not sick of us by the end. :wink:

My SIL (Hubby's little sister) is getting married this weekend and we're all headed out to enjoy the festivities - should be a blast! NSWO is the ring bearer and I think he's getting excited about it. Everyone send sunny-vibes to South Carolina for Sunday, ok?? I think SIL would really appreciate it.

28w4d - belly pic & lab results

2007-04-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

Here's the latest belly pic. I swear this kid has had a significant growth spurt cause the belly seems/feels soooo much bigger. I pulled together a progression of all the belly pics I've done so far and I'd say there's a pretty big jump from 26 weeks to 28 weeks. What do you think?

Sorry it won't show up any larger, can't figure out how to get it to do that.

Got a call from the OB office yesterday with my lab results from my appointment last week. The glucose came back at 88! Not sure which is more shocking - that the lab reading was so different than my glucometer reading (which was 102) or that it was just so darn low. With NSWO, my 1 hr reading was 175. That's a huge difference. Wow. My TSH is lower than the 2nd trimester which is wonderful - means my thyroid is functioning better. Turns out I'm pretty anemic though. The nurse asked me if I had been feeling tired and I really haven't been all that tired. I do get short of breath easier, but I just figured it was The Bean putting pressure on my lungs. Guess not. Anyway, started iron supplements today, hoping for even more energy once the iron kicks in.

Still haven't heard back from my OB about scheduling a date for the c-section, hoping to hear later this week. My mom will be coming out to help out with NSWO and we'd like to get flight info figured out soon.

Sleeping is getting tougher and tougher lately. Not only is it tough to roll over and get comfy thru the night, but I'm just so darn hot all night long. Hubby is like a flipping heating pad in that bed and I spend 90% of the night with no covers on at all and the ceiling fan on medium. SOOOO glad we got central air conditioning installed for when it actually gets hot outside.

28w0d - Oh Happy Day!!!!

2007-04-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

I had another OB appointment today with a growth ultrasound as my OB wanted his office to do one so they could see just how big the Bean is getting. I'm 28w0d today and his average measurement based on head circumference, abdominal circumference, femur length and maybe one more is 30w2d. He's now over 2 weeks ahead. His head circumference measured 32w5d! Eeek, it's a damn good thing I don't have to push that out! LOL My belly is measuring 31 weeks. His estimated weight is already 3lb 4oz. I still have 11 weeks to go of the biggest growth period. I met with the NP today as the OB was out of town, I need to call on Monday to try and get him to nail down a c/s date so my mom and I can get her flight figured out soon. Blood pressure was good, urine was clear, weight gain to date is 17lbs (3lb 4oz of that is just baby!!) so I'm very happy with all of that.

The best part of the appointment though was that I did the 1hr glucose test today. I brought my glucometer from home and checked with that right before they drew my blood. They want the number to be <140 to be passing. I am so happy to report that my number on my finger prick (which shouldn't be too far off from what the lab shows) was a mere 102. I can hardly believe it, but I'm not diabetic with this pregnancy!!!!!! Oh happy day!

27w4d - Feeling more cranky, and how are you?

2007-04-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

First off, thanks for all the kind words about the handstand. I almost didn't post it because I don't want people to think I'm trying to toot my own horn. I was just so excited about being able to do it! Ava, you're right, it IS a mind over matter thing. Once you decide that your arms are strong enough (they probably are now) then you kick up one leg and make the 2nd one follow. If that 2nd leg wimps out and doesn't follow thru, it won't happen. I still can't hang my head to look toward the center of the room because that just gives me vertigo, but apparently, according to yogajournal.com looking at the floor is the more advanced version so yippee for me! LOL

Now, on to the meat of the posting. I'm sure all you other preggos out there are getting a bit tired of the question, "How are you feeling?" No one really wants to hear all the nitty-gritty and we know that, so we don't usually tell them the full details. Usually, my answer is something like - "I feel great! Much better than I remember feeling with my son's pregnancy by this point, so that's good." And usually, that's true. Unfortunately, the last week or so, I'm feeling something other than 'great'.

Physically, I'm still feeling quite good. Some beginnings of 3rd trimester (oh yeah, did I mention I'm in my 3rd trimester now? When in the hell did that happen???) discomforts that I know are to be expected. Mainly, I'm starting to feel my pubic bone separating. Sounds comfy, don't it? The front of the pubic bone is connected by ligaments and the relaxin that helps the hips to open up for birth can also affect the front of the pelvis. So far, it's mild and I sure hope it stays that way. It feels like I got kicked in the crotch. If it gets worse, climbing stairs is going to become very interesting. I'm hoping that my chiropractor will have some ideas on things to help keep things stable. Yoga does seem to still be helping so that's good. I did a lot of walking yesterday with a friend and that seemed to make it worse. Will know to take breaks and rest more next time.

Emotionally, I'm not doing quite as well. Part of it's hormones that just zap my patience. Part of it is that Hubby has been very busy with work lately and has also been out of town for work so I've been doing the parenting thing mostly alone for at least a couple of weeks now. Normally, this would be tiring, but not that big of a deal. Apparently, at this point in the pregnancy, however, my reserves of patience are just not that deep. Add to that, NSWO is being, well, a pretty typical 3 yr old and you've got a craaaaanky mommy. Hoping it gets better soon. Hubby gets home in a couple of days, so that should help.

Glucose test coming up on Friday - keep your fingers crossed for me, would ya?

26w5d - updated bump pic & yoga pic *edited

2007-04-11T16:53:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting all picture happy on my blog lately aren't I?? Well, not much else going on really.

Here's the latest belly pic for 26 weeks.

I thought it might be tacky to take a picture of myself in yoga class to have something to remember this time by, but my teacher said he thought it was a great idea. So, I brought the camera in with me yesterday and got a few pics snapped while I was in handstand. 6mo+ pregnant and I can still do this. Crazy! Don't tell my chiropractor though, he was less keen on the idea of me doing it still, but I swear yesterday it felt better than ever. I was upside down for a lot longer than I usually can do and the energy boost it gives me is incredible!

Here's my Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Handstand).

Edited to add: Ok, so after posting this and noticing the differences between
the pic on yoga journal's site and my pic, I decided to focus in class today on
lengthening thru my sacrum up thru my heels. Much to my complete and utter shock my heels came off the wall and I was balancing on my hands. I was so surprised I literally said out loud, "Are my heels off the wall? Am I balancing??? Holy cow!" And that's about how long it took before I came down the rest of the way. Who knew that not only would I still be doing yoga at 6mo+ pregnant, but that I
could still do handstands and that (SHOCKER!) I would be able to make progress
with my practice? I certainly never would have expected that. By this point in
my pregnancy with NSWO, I was feeling so tired and heavy that I had pretty much
given up yoga. Now, I feel like a totally different woman. By the way, The Bean
liked the handstand today and was dancing around in there for quite some time
afterwards.

Hubby helped me get one of the storage boxes of baby clothes out of the attic to start going through them. Surprisingly, things are more stained than I recall and several items are yellowed from storage. I guess I'll try cleaning them again and maybe even sunning them to get them stain-free, but I might not have quite as much baby clothes for this one as I thought I would considering The Bean's due date is just 3 days before NSWO's due date. Oh well, I've gotten a few things already myself and I'm sure the grandmas are itching to do a little shopping. (Don't worry grandmas - if you don't want to shop, I still think I've got plenty.)

Picked up some yarn at the craft store and a pattern to do a 'simple cable knit blanket' for him too. I've been knitting a bit for a couple of years, but nothing beyond knit & purl, so now I'll try to add a cable stitch to my repertoire. Grandma Jan, I may be calling you for help!! That extra cable needle is a bit intimidating right now.

26w2d - Happy Easter

2007-04-08T19:41:00.000-07:00

Things are going well, we had a lovely Easter this year with 2 different egg hunts for NSWO and absolutely gorgeous weather. Sorry to all of you stuck in a freaky spring freeze. It was in the 70's-low 80's here and the weather held just long enough to enjoy the hunts outside. By 3pm today, the clouds had returned, the temps dropped, and the rains began to fall yet again.

Our neighbors had us over for brunch and took some lovely photos of the entire family.

NSWO decided it would be sweet to give his brother a kiss, but unfortunately, with a dress on, it just looks - well, odd. It was the thought that counts.

25w2d - Big Boy Room is finished!

2007-04-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

I've been slowly working on NSWO's new big boy room for a couple of weeks now. The furniture arrived this weekend, so now it's 'done' and I can post pics.

Here's a pic of the bedding - aka the inspiration for the room.

Before pic - originally, the room was all the tan color that's at the bottom, including the ceiling. I painted the ceiling white, then did the blue and the red stripe. Next, I sketched on the trains around the room. Here's a pic of the train nearly completed.
Next, I finished the trains and outlined everything in black like the bedding design.
Here's a pic of NSWO running around his new room.
And here are a couple with the new furniture in place.

I think he likes his new room.

24w5d - Ultrasound report

2007-03-28T14:36:00.000-07:00

I had another ultrasound today to check on The Bean's kidney/bladder. Good news is that things are within normal limits at this point. The left kidney is still a bit big, but as long as it stays the same at the next ultrasound at 32wks, it won't be an issue. The bladder wall is also a bit thinner which means that it's draining more regularly too. Whew! He's vertex (heads down) and facing my spine still. Great positioning for a vaginal birth IF I WAS HAVING ONE!! Unfortunately, not so good for getting ultrasound pics so we only have one decent 3D pic from today. They even had to do a transvaginal one to measure my cervix as he would NOT move out of the way to let her see it with the abdominal transducer. Cervix is nice and long at over 5cm and no signs of funneling at the top. Also, he's measuring about 2wks ahead still. Overall, a great ultrasound. Here's the one pic we got that's decent (little stinker!).
Other great news from today is that Hubby got to go with me to the ultrasound which was great since he missed the last two by being out of town and sick with the flu. So frustrating how behind the office is though, today, we were only 30 minutes late for our appointment which is, sadly, an improvement. Oh well, what can you do. Also, my fasting blood sugar this morning was 78. They want to see it <95 and it's been around 85 or so most mornings. This was the hardest number for me to control last time, so I'm hopeful that this is a good sign for the future. We'll see.

24w3d - belly pic update

2007-03-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

Doesn't seem to be much bigger than 2 wks ago. Weight gain is about the same too, depending on the day I'm up about 14lbs total. Blood sugar numbers still holding strong. Yay!

We have another ultrasound to check on The Bean's kidney on Wednesday. Keep your fingers crossed that things are at least not any worse. Hubby will get to go this time which will be nice as he's missed the last two by being out of town or sick with influenza. We should be getting more 3D pics too.

Had a great time with my fellow bloggers at lunch on Sunday - thanks ladies!!

24w0d - OB appointment update

2007-03-23T13:40:00.000-07:00

OB appointment went great. Blood pressure was 110/62, he's happy with the weight gain (14lbs total), and the fundal height (measurement from the pubic bone to the top of the uterus, should roughly equal the number of weeks pregnant) was 27cm. That's a whole 3 wks ahead folks! I grow 'em big! My blood sugar numbers are holding nicely and my OB was very impressed and surprised that I'm still doing handstands in yoga. Yay me! :) He wants to do an ultrasound next time at 28wks to see just how big he's getting. He and I are negotiating the c-section date too. The earliest he's readily willing to do it is 7/4, but neither of us wants to do it on the holiday so I am lobbying for either 7/3 or 7/7 (preferably 7/7) since 3 & 7 are my lucky numbers. Silly, I know. Plus, how cool would it be to have a birthday of 7/7/07?!?! Problem is, 7/7 is a Saturday, so he's going to look ahead at his schedule to see if he's going to be in town and is considering scheduling my surgery for 7:30 that morning - again, my lucky numbers!! We'll see, but I'm hoping that's how it works out.

I do my 1-hr glucose screening test next time too at 28wks. For the first time since I got pregnant again, I'm actually entertaining the idea that I just might pass this puppy! Four weeks is a long time from now and a lot of things can change, but we'll see and if the diabetes does come back, well, we'll just deal with that when it gets here. IF it gets here.

The other night, as we were laying in bed, The Bean was going nuts in there and I just watched my belly jump all around - such a trip! Hubby gets a bit freaked out by it, but he did glance over for a bit. I'm definitely going to have to get some video footage of this kid's antics for posterity.

My cold is getting better and my injured hamstring/hip is recovering well too. It's going to take a long time to get back to 100%, but it's not hindering my yoga practice so that's good.

I'm working on painting a train border on the walls of NSWO's new room and hope to be done soon. I'll take pics to post when I'm done. It's coordinating with his new bedding. I found wall stickers for The Bean's room that will work great and be easy to change once he's ready for a big boy room. I'd paint in there too, but I'd rather make it less permanent and I'm getting a bit tired of painting right now.

Very excited to be meeting a couple other fellow bloggers for lunch on Sunday too. See you ladies then!

23w2d - Happy Birthday to Hubby!

2007-03-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Hubby's birthday so we had a combo St. Patrick's Day/Birthday Party for neighbors and a few other friends. Lots of kids in the house and since the weather decided to be authentically Irish as well with lots of rain, we were all in the house. What a madhouse! So much fun though. I got a great idea to pull a small portion of NSWO's toys for the kids to play with and hide the rest of them. I also put the toys in the front living room so the adults could hang out in the kitchen/family room. Worked out great and later when we fired up the Wii (LOVE THIS THING!) there weren't tons of toys all over the floor. Only one toy got broken, but I think we can fix it, I hope. NSWO was soooo sad when he came over with his remote control spider and it's broken off leg. It was really sweet. Then again, he was really tired and overstimulated by this point.

Last week in yoga my teacher let me go up into handstand and it was so awesome! I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get up since it had been a while, but with him spotting me, I got up and it felt more stable and strong than ever. Next, I decided to try the forearm balance that I'd finally been able to do earlier this year and had a bit of trouble getting up with the belly in the way. I re-injured my left leg - the ligament that connects the hamstring to the bone got strained a bit last year while I was pregnant and it got re-injured - ouch! Seems to be doing pretty well so far. If I sit in one position too long the glutes get tight so I try to remember to sit on the heating pad for a bit to keep things loose. With the relaxin in my system it might take a long time for this to fully recover but if I'm careful it shouldn't be any problem.

I've got yet another cold - so over it. Hubby had something last week and I guess I picked it up too. Hoping to get over it quicker than the last one.

Oh, here's last week's belly shot too.

I know I promised no bare belly shots here, but the stretch marks didn't show up in this one so I thought heck, why not? Soon enough I'll look like a tributary map of the everglades, why not enjoy it for now? This was my 22wk pic. Only 12.5 lb weight gain and look at that belly! I'm gonna need to wear a weighted backpack by the end to keep from falling forward! LOL

21w6d - Feeling really good.

2007-03-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

I am feeling a lot better at this point in the pregnancy than I remember feeling with NSWO. I'm nearly 22wks (tomorrow!!) and physically I feel really great. I'm so glad. Hubby and I went to the gym on Saturday and I got my butt back on the elliptical machine - man that was good! I had to go slow to keep my heart rate under 140 (per OBs orders) so it took 30min to get in 1 mile, but that still felt great. We're going again this weekend.

Yoga has been great too. I'm keeping up with everyone else in the class except for poses I can't do while pregnant and the only modification I have to do is to come out of the pose a little earlier than the others when my heart rate goes up. I did have to come down out of headstand early on Tuesday when this baby put too much pressure on my stomach and I could feel the stomach acid start to go up into the esophagus. Hope that doesn't continue, I really enjoy headstands and shoulder stands.

Got some great news today. I post on Fertility Friend and am in a few buddy groups of gals. One group of us got together when we were all gearing up for IVF in October and November. Nearly everyone got pregnant with their IVF. I got pregnant all on my own (well, Hubby helped, obviously) and all but 3 got their BFPs with IVF. Of the 3, one got her BFP on her 2nd round, 1 had a chemical pregnancy with her 2nd (hugs to you Shelby!), and one other was hoping for good results with her 2nd round as well. This particular gal also has stubborn ovaries like me and does not have the luxury of insurance coverage. I had a fridge full of IVF meds so I sent all my gon*alF to her for this cycle. I had 3600IU of that stuff (told you I have stubborn ovaries). She just posted today that she got her BFP!!!!!!!! I cannot tell you how amazingly excited that made me, it's almost as if I was getting mine all over again. I'm so happy for her I literally had to type my response thru my tears of joy.

Paying it forward - Good for the karma, and good for the soul.

21w0d - Ultrasound & OB appt updates

2007-03-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

I had a faboo time in California with my best friend and will update about the trip more later with pics.

Got back Tuesday evening and had an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday morning. We got some really great 3D images this time and like a dork, I forgot the DVD they were saved on at the clinic. I had to wait until today when I went back for my OB check-up to get the disc so I could update the blog. Pregnancy brain strikes again!!!

Anyway, the ultrasound went pretty well. His left kidney is still measuring too big, not extremely too big, but bigger than 'normal'. The Perinatologist (high-risk OB) said that he thinks the earlier scans where his bladder was too big was not a fluke and that there is some level of blockage/obstruction in the urethra. The fact that the bladder is now normally sized is good though b/c it means the urine can drain, it just take a bit longer than ideal. The bladder wall is also a bit thicker than normal, but that is expected with the blockage. As he put it, the muscle needs to build up thicker so that the bladder is strong enough to hold the increased amount of urine and the fact that it's happening is good and means that if the bladder gets backed up, it can handle it and is not at risk for rupture. Whew! We'll keep an eye on it with at least monthly ultrasounds and if the bladder or kidneys get 'too big' we'll assess then what to do. It could range from as minor as doing nothing or a simple round of antibiotics for him after birth or at the more extreme end, they may decide to deliver him early so they can go into the urethra with a scope to essentially clear out the obstruction (poor guy). If it gets worse than it is now, we'd probably meet with a pediatric urologist before he's born to figure out the game plan. If he were to need a minor surgery, they might decide it's best to delay the circumcision until then and to do them at the same time. Lots of speculation at this point, but none of the doctors are worried and neither am I. We'll see at the end of March how things look and we'll just keep getting to peek in on him to watch it. I'm ok with that.

The other news from the ultrasound is that he's measuring big! I was 20w5d by ovulation and he is already measuring at 22w5d! They estimated that he's already 1.5lbs - already! I'm only halfway thru this pregnancy and man oh man do I grow big babies! LOL He's heads down (vertex) already too so those thumps I've been feeling down low are his mean left hook and right jab apparently. We've got a future middle weight champion cooking here. Just getting ready to defend himself from big brother I think.

My OB appointment today went well too. My blood pressure is very good at 115/70 today and weight gain is 9lbs and Dr. was very happy with both of these.

Physically, I'm feeling really good, better than I think I felt at this point with NSWO's pregnancy which is great. I'm hoping that means I'll be feeling good longer too. I think the yoga, the lower weight gain and being in better shape in general are all contributing to that.

Ok, so enough rambling from me, time for some pictures! We got to do some 3D ones this time and here are my favorites. That face is so cute, I'm already in love!

This is the best one of his face.

He was doing a lot of yawning or swallowing or whatever and here's a cute one of that.This one is my favorite, I think I need to frame this one, it's just so precious.

19w5d - Starting to feel better & latest pics

2007-02-21T14:56:00.000-08:00

First, the pics.

Here's the nearly 20 week belly shot. Look at that bump grow! Weight gain is still at only 8lbs, don't ask me how cause I don't know, but I'll take it! LOL

Here is NSWO in the tub the other night, just being cute per his usual.

I'm finally feeling like I'm going to be well again. I woke up at 3am this morning to go to the bathroom and take more meds and actually felt normal again. It was quite a shock. I would say I'm 70% better today and hope for even more improvement tomorrow before the flight. NSWO and I are planning on going for it and hoping that mommy's ears stay clear for the flight. Soooooo excited to see my best friend, haven't seen her in person in over 4 years now. Doubtful I'll be updating this blog while I'm gone so I'll have to check in on everyone once we get back next week. I've got my tylenol, sudafed (the real stuff, not this new crap they sell on the shelves*), mucinex, and saline nasal spray. I'm set! Oh, and a whole bunch of tissues!

*Don't know if you've needed to purchase REAL Sudafed lately, but it's quite the ordeal now, at least out here anyway. Not only do you have to take a card from the shelf to the pharmacy, but then you have to show your driver's license and sign a form including your address. Worth it for meds that actually work. The new stuff just makes me jittery but doesn't help my congestion much at all. The real stuff makes me jittery too, but at least it helps the congestion. I know it's worth it to stop or at least slow down meth production, but man I'm sure sales have slipped tremendously due to all the hoops you have to jump thru.

19w3d - Being (sniff) sick (sniff sniff) sucks! (ACHOO!)

2007-02-19T17:11:00.000-08:00

NSWO is doing much better by now. Still got a gunky nose, but even that's clearing up today. His fever kept spiking up to the 103's - 104's for a couple of days there, but seems he just runs hot I guess. Good strong immune system that one has.

I, on the other hand, have a somewhat suppressed immune system (Thanks to the Bean!) and have not fared quite as well. It started as a scratchy throat on Thursday and quickly progressed to a misery of congestion, sneezing, coughing, body aches, ear aches etc. by Sunday. First thing this morning I call my GP to get an appointment only to be told that they are closed for President's Day. WHAT?? Is that a real holiday? I thought it was just an excuse for school's to be out and banks to be closed. My OB is closed too. By now I'm thinking that the only way I'm going to be seen by a doctor today is to pack up NSWO and myself and schlep to an ER or urgent care facility full of other sick miserable people. NO, THANK YOU.

Luckily, Hubby works for a great company with awesome benefits and one of the new benefits they are trying out in a pilot program is MD house call service. Yes, you read that right, you can still get a house call. Turns out, for many non-emergency urgent cases, it's cheaper to send an MD to the patient's home than to have them go to an ER. So, I make a phone call to the 24-hr nurse hotline, ask for the MD service and within 15min the MD is calling to get my info and let me know how soon he can make it out my way. SCORE! Not only do I NOT have to sit around in a dirty, contaminated ER all day, but neither does NSWO thereby keeping us from being exposed to even more germs. Plus, I can do what I need to do in the comfort of my own home while waiting my turn in the cue. Very nice MD comes to the house, does some basic insurance paperwork and starts his assessment. As I suspected, I have a sinus infection. I was surprised to learn that I also have the beginnings of a double ear infection as well. Lovely. I started amoxicillin this afternoon and cannot wait to start feeling better.

NSWO and I are supposed to be flying to San Diego to visit my best friend and her twin girls later this week, but if either of us is still sick, we have to postpone since we don't want to get her or the premature babies sick. I do not need that on my conscience.

18w6d - Our Budding Artist

2007-02-15T17:09:00.000-08:00

NSWO isn't into art projects as much as other kids in his preschool class. He'd much rather play with the cars or in the play kitchen than to put on a smock on and paint a picture. When he DOES actually do some art though he's sooo proud. It's cute. The other day, totally unprompted, he got out his little Magnadoodle and drew this pic. Since it wasn't on paper to be preserved for posterity we had to snap a picture. How cute is he???

Poor guy has been home sick the last couple of days with croup. Nasty stuff that croup. Luckily I got him to the doctor yesterday morning and he got a dose of steroids to help keep his throat from closing up overnight. What do you get when you take a 3.5 yr old boy and add steroids? You guessed it - the tazmanian devil! Thank goodness Granddad sent that trampoline so he could bounce off a lot of the excess energy. (Thanks Granddad!!) Given his reaction to croup last time he got it a couple of years ago, I was expecting a hard night last night of him coughing up a lung and being unable to breathe well. Hubby slept in the guest room so NSWO could room in with me so I'd be there if he woke up with an episode. Glad to say there were no episodes, but man, now I remember why we don't co-sleep with him. He fidgeted for two hours straight before I finally made him go back to his room and I hooked up the old baby monitor to listen in. We both slept better after that.

Today, he's in what I call the "sort-of-sick crankies". That's when the kid is not quite well enough to go back to school, but not so sick that they want to sleep. They just bounce off the walls instead and have ZERO patience. I had to take away his small legos today because it took him two hours to pick up about 7 of those little buggers before I had had it and cleaned them up for him. We'll try bringing them out again in a few months when he's better about cleaning things up. (I know all you moms of older kids are laughing at me right now!)

Luckily, he's got swim class tomorrow so we won't be stuck staring at each other all day long.

The Bean is doing great, nothing new to report there.

17w6d - Movin' and a Groovin'

2007-02-08T13:53:00.000-08:00

Not much going on these days with The Bean. We're still on the hunt for a name, but I think we're narrowing it down. I won't be able to announce on here the name for the baby because my in-laws and maybe my parents read this blog and we keep the name secret from most people, including family until after baby is born. Since we find out the gender, we want to keep something as a surprise. Add to it that I had a scheduled c-section with NSWO and will again with this one, even the birthdate is known ahead of time. The name is the only thing we can keep secret. So, sorry, no name announcements on here until July.

Even without a name yet, this kid is definitely moving around in there. With NSWO my placenta blocked much sensation of movement until 20+ weeks, but this one doesn't have that pillow in the front so I'm feeling lots of kicks, punches and even some rolling several times a day now. I love it! Now, granted, when I get closer to delivery, I may wish I had that pillow to block some of the stronger kicks, but for now this is so much fun!!!

My weight gain is staying well within control and that makes me happy too. As of this morning I'm up 8lbs total and the books say that it should be between 8-14 lbs for a singleton pregnancy so I'm happy to be within normal but at the lower end. I only gained 28lbs with NSWO and I'd like to keep the weight gain with this one nice and healthy too. Even with only a 28lb weight gain, I was still HUGE at the end. I don't think I've posted this pic before on here (forgive me if I have - preggo brain!), but this is from the night before NSWO was born. The little white squares on the cabinets are post-its labeling what's in each cabinet so anyone who was staying with us or visiting wouldn't need to ask me where to find stuff. If you know me IRL, you'll know that's soooo me! It was pretty much the extent of my nesting with him. Anyway, see how big my belly was? It was about the size of a blow-up beach ball. My OB guessed he would be 10lbs - luckily she was off by 1.5lbs.

16w5d - Boy oh BOY!

2007-01-31T16:11:00.000-08:00

Had the big ultrasound today and we were right, that was a penis we saw 3 weeks ago! He's still all boy and looking great! Measuring about 1.5 weeks ahead and bladder looks good too.

This is the "money shot". I'm not good at photoshoping to put a nice arrow at the right spot, but if you see the black area that's sort of shaped like a crescent wrench, in the crescent area - the white part is the penis.

Here's a cute shot of his left foot.

And here's a nice profile, head on the right. That's his arm laying above his tummy.

Now, to find a name for this guy. He had the hiccups during the u/s and we've got a VHS tape of it, but have to get Hubby to encode it to digital so we can share it.

Speaking of Hubby, poor guy has the flu. Not the tummy variety, but the "Did you get the license of the truck that hit me?" type. Luckily, he listened to me and went to the Dr. yesterday and is on an antiviral now so hopefully he'll get better soon. NSWO and I both had the vaccine, so hoping this strain was covered by that. Especially since I can't take anything for it if I do get it.

16w1d - Belly pic & NSWO update

2007-01-27T17:06:00.000-08:00

This was taken today 16w1d. By the end I'm going to be HUGE again!

I got my first official kick on Thursday. I've felt little thumps and bubbles and even some rolling, but that was the first decent kick. Made me smile. It's odd to think that with NSWO I didn't feel anything until after 20 weeks and now I'm already feeling this much. I'm also getting some mild Braxton Hicks contractions too. Didn't get them this early with NSWO. This pregnancy is just so different.

In other news, NSWO was so cute yesterday. I was busy vacuuming downstairs and he was upstairs being a bit too quiet. At one point, I turned off the vacuum and he came to the stairwell to give me a status report. "Hey MOM! I was playing with your shoes and trying them on, and then I was jumping on your bed, and then I turned on my favorite movie in the office!" I had to stifle my laugh at ratting himself out and asked him to 1) put my shoes back on the shelves, 2) remind him of why we don't jump on beds, and 3) ask him if he had turned off the TV. How can you get mad at him for doing 3 things he isn't supposed to do when he so excitedly tells you about them?

We are getting him a new bed soon. After the u/s on Wednesday we'll hopefully know for sure which room he's going into (staying in his if this one is a girl, and moving into the current guest room if it's another boy) so we can schedule delivery of the furniture. I found a killer deal on a twin bed with trundle drawer, nightstand and 5 drawer chest for less than $900! Sweet! And it's neutral enough in finish that if this one is a girl (yeah, right!) she can use it in the future. If it's another boy, they can share a room too and The Bean can sleep on the trundle. I had to remind NSWO that if he jumped on his new BIG BOY BED that he might get hurt or he might break his bed. I told him that the only thing he's allowed to jump on is a trampoline, asked him if a bed is a trampoline ("No.") and said he'd have to wait until he gets a trampoline someday. Little does he know that there is one on the way right now from Grandad! (Thanks Grandad!) We tried to get it last year for christmas but it was backordered. Same thing this year so we bit the bullet and decided to go for it anyway and it should be here next week. The kid is going to have sooo much fun! Here's a link to it: http://www.leapsandboundscatalog.com/product/118/490758/118.html

Too bad it only goes to 88lbs. Bummer.

16w0d - Neo ain't got nothin' on me!

2007-01-26T09:15:00.000-08:00

You know the scene in The Matrix where Neo dodges the bullets? Well, he's not the only one with this skill. Heck, I even had a dream about dodging bullets a few months back. Apparently, it was more prophetic than I thought.

A bit of history first. This pregnancy resulted from a dodged IVF bullet. Then, we had the scare with The Bean's bladder, but turns out we dodged that one too. Now, I have a third (and hopefully last) bullet that we've dodged.

After my OB appointment last Friday, I got a call from my OB. He'd been going over my records that were transferred from the MW upstairs that I'd seen at 8wks. At that appointment, the MW had me do the basic OB bloodwork panel. In those test results my new OB saw that I had tested positive for the anti-Jk antibody. (Huh?) He wanted me to get some more blood drawn to double check and to measure the amount of antibodies in my blood. I was taking NSWO to swim class so I didn't have time to ask much more so I got straight to work researching this issue when I got home. What I found wasn't very good.

Bear with me, this is fairly complicated, but I'll try to explain as best as I can. Most people are aware of the Rh blood grouping system. Most people are positive for Rh (A+, AB+, O+, etc.) but some are Rh negative (A-, B-, O-). There is a protein on the red blood cell's surface that determines your Rh status. There are other proteins on the red blood cell as well and one of them is called Jk, from the Kidd group. About 15% of the population is Rh- and the number of people with blood that is Jk- is far smaller (maybe 1-2%). If the mother is Jk- and her partner is Jk+ there is a chance that the baby could be Jk+ as well. If the blood between mother and fetus mixes, the mother's body will see the presence of the protein as a foreign invader and develop antibodies to it. Most women who are Rh- get an injection called Rhogam to prevent these antibodies from being formed by her body. Unfortunately, there is no equivilant injection for people who are Jk-.

If the mother develops antibodies to the blood of her fetus, it is more likely to affect subsequent pregnancies if the next fetus is also Jk+. The antibodies she makes are small enough to pass thru the placenta to the baby and they start attacking the protein on the fetus' red blood cells causing them to explode. This causes anemia for the baby because it has too few red blood cells to carry oxygen to the body's cells. Depending on how much antibodies the mother is making it can have anywhere from no effect up to a severe effect on the fetus. If the level of antibodies gets too high, they have to monitor the baby for effects. The old way of doing this was repeated amnios every few weeks. Luckily, there is a better way that isn't nearly as invasive. Using doppler imaging with ultrasound they can measure how fast the blood is flowing thru the middle cerebral artery of the baby. If it's too fast, that means the blood is too thin so the heart is working harder to get the oxygen where it needs to go. If that happens, they will often need to perform an IUT (intra-uterine tranfusion - giving the baby new blood via the umbilical cord while in utero) of the baby to give it less anemic blood that the mother's body doesn't see as an invader (Jk- blood). Over time, the baby's bone marrow will replace the baby's blood and the mother's antibodies will attack again. IUTs may need to be repeated until the baby is big enough to be delivered early, often around 34 weeks gestation. (Full-term is 40 weeks). Sometimes, the baby will need another transfusion after birth and can suffer from HDN (hemolytic disease of the newborn) including severe jaundice as well as the other risks associated with premature delivery. These babies can spend weeks in the NICU trying to recover. Most do well, but it isn't an easy road for the pregnancy or the newborn.

So, after all that doom and gloom, back to my original point, we dodged another bullet. The lab results came back from Monday's blood draw and apparently there are no anti-Jk antibodies in that sample. Since the original test went to a different lab, there's a chance that it was lab error or perhaps there are so little of the antibodies in my blood that they are not showing up at this point. In any event, we have been cleared of this possible complication and couldn't be happier about that. Now, I'm just hoping that we don't need to dodge anything else, but at least I'm getting good at it.

15w4d - OB appt update

2007-01-23T15:52:00.000-08:00

My appt was actually Friday, but I haven't gotten around to updating yet. Sorry.

Everything went well. My OB does not want to move my due date up though since he prefers to go by the early u/s dating which puts my due date back at July 13. Oh well, guess I don't get to lose that week of pregnancy after all.

Great news is that once I reminded my OB about having already done the 1-hour glucose screening test and passing, he said that I don't have to repeat until 28weeks! Yay!!! I'll probably start checking my fasting blood sugar level at about 20 weeks or so a few times a week to see if it's going up, hoping that it doesn't. The fasting number was always the one I had the hardest time controlling last time.

Baby's heartrate was 140bpm which just reaffirms my belief that it's a boy.

I have another u/s at the perinatologist on the 31st.

Feeling mostly good these days, still a bit tired sometimes, but not nearly as bad as it was with NSWO. My hips are already achey while I'm sleeping so I'm hoping that yoga will help keep that mild for a while longer. I've started feeling this little one moving a bit which is really cool. I didn't feel NSWO until after 20wks due to my anterior placenta and it's so neat to be feeling this one so much earlier.

13w5d - Ultrasound pics - a retrospective

2007-01-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

I finally got the scanner up and running, so here's the history to date of ultrasound pics.

This first one is at 6w5d and, granted, doesn't look like much. The circle in the upper left corner is the yolk sac and the blob at the bottom center is the Bean. The yolk sac provides nourishment for the baby until the placenta is large enough to take over that job.

This 2nd one is at 8w5d and you can more clearly see the yolk sac (it's smaller now as the placenta is growing and will take over nourishment of the baby soon.) The Bean is the bigger blob on the left of the big black circle (the gestational sac).

This third pic is from 12w2d. I was technically 11w3d by ovulation date, but baby was already measuring big so they moved my due date up. Here, finally, the Bean is starting to look like a baby - albeit with a VERY big head. The head is on the right, the rest of the body is sort of curled up on the left. You can see the sort of dotted line across the bottom that is the spine. Squint and you can see it better. LOL

The fourth and fifth ones are from this week at 14w2d. We didn't get any print outs last week, but that's ok, my bladder was so full, all I wanted to do was be done and find a bathroom!

In this one, you can get a much clearer profile of the Bean. What a cute little nose!!!

This last one is my favorite. It's, again, not extremely clear, but you see that little blob in front of it's face? That's the Bean sucking it's thumb. How cute is that???

The other news from yesterday's ultrasound is that the bladder was even smaller. In fact, the tech had to hunt around a bit to get a good view to be able to measure it. We're very happy that this scare seems to be behind us. We go back in 2 more weeks for an anatomy scan where they will take a longer look and measure several parts of the Bean. We expect that at that ultrasound they will also confirm that we are having another boy. Yes, Hubby and I are about 90% sure we saw a penis yesterday while the tech was looking around to measure the bladder. At one point, the view was as if the Bean was sitting on the camera lens. This is the same view we got of NSWO at 14 weeks that confirmed he was a boy, so we're pretty sure of what we saw. Granted, the tech didn't confirm anything, but he also wasn't trying to look for gender. I'll guess we'll see for sure in a couple of weeks.

I admit to being a bit saddened by this news. Not because the baby is a boy (not at all!), but because this is/was my last chance of ever having a little girl. I know that in the long-term I will grow to appreciate that not having a girl is going to be better - no teenage girl drama!! - but I am sad about missing out on the short-term fun parts. The shopping for pink stuff, playing dolls with her, taking my daughter to ballet class.

My best friend who had identical twin girls in September suggested we should arrange the marriages now. Her girls to my boys. I hope the kids don't mind too much not being able to choose who they marry. Ahh, they'll get over it! Don'tcha think?

13w3d - belly pic

2007-01-08T16:38:00.000-08:00

You're not going to see a belly shot here with any exposed skin. I wouldn't subject you to that. NSWO's pregnancy did a number on my belly and the road map of stretch marks are just not pleasant.

Instead, I'll try to keep updated on clothed belly shots.

Here's a 13 week shot.

13w0d - Combined screen results are in.

2007-01-05T10:53:00.000-08:00

We had the NT scan about a week or so ago and at the same time, they took a sample of blood to run some tests. That info was combined with the NT measurement, the size of baby in terms of dates, and my age to give us an adjusted risk for Downs Syndrome and other trisomies and birth defects.

I don't have recorded anywhere the NT measurement with NSWO's pregnancy, but I do have what we got for adjusted odds with his pregnancy.

Downs Syndrome adjusted risk: 1/5100
Spina Bifida adusted risk: 1/4600
Adjusted risk for other trisomies: negative (risk was less than 1%, no fractional odds given)

NSWO turned out just fine.

Now, on to this current pregnancy. For The Bean, we got:

NT measurement = 1.7mm.

My age based risk for Downs Syndrome is 1/374.
My adjusted risk for Downs Syndrome is 1/7461.

My age based risk for other trisomies and birth defects is 1/667.
My adjusted risk for these is 1/13,321.

No need for an amnio or CVS. I can't stop smiling. Not that I expected there to really be an issue, especially after the great NT measurement, but when you're diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve, they emphasize to you that running out of eggs also can mean that what you have left is the bottom of the barrel and might not be any good. I guess we showed them! My 33 yr old egg seems to be a better risk than my 29 yr old egg was!

12w4d - Ultrasound update

2007-01-02T14:45:00.000-08:00

We had a follow-up ultrasound today (12w4d, baby is measuring 13w2d) to check on the baby's bladder. Last week it was measuring at 8mm - too big. We are very happy to report that today, the bladder was 6.7mm - nearly within normal range. We will go back next week for another look just to confirm that the bladder stays 'normal' but the perinatologist today said that he is very confident that everything is going to be just fine. Whew!

12w3d - 2006 - A Year in Review

2007-01-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

So, as I sit here on January 1st, it seems only appropriate to take a look back at this last year and think about what 2007 might bring.

January 2006
This is when the bad news really started to roll in. After approximately 18 months of TTC a 2nd child, we had our first appointment with an RE (reproductive endocronologist - fertililty specialist). I had done 3 rounds of Clomid with no luck. At least I was sure I ovulated on the crap, but otherwise, it was NOT a good drug for me. I was moody and the hot flashes really sucked. After some basic testing (cd3 bloodwork) I got some seriously crushing news. My cd3 FSH level was 16.5 - this is not good. I'm officially diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve, nearly a death sentence in the world of infertility. My consultation with Dr. Google gives me nothing but a poor prognosis and talk of donor eggs. I start to believe that my dream of a 2nd child is all but over. Luckily, I also started seeing Lee, my acupuncturist, in January and saw that there might be a bit of light at the end of this tunnel. She helped me to start believing that FSH is just a number and not what defines me.

February 2006
We got yet another bit of bad news. The RE decided not to waste the Clomid I took for the CCCT and do an IUI. Since I'd been pregnant twice already by Hubby, we had no reason to suspect that there could be a problem there too. But alas, there was. The sperm count came back miserably low - post-wash was a mere 800,000. Most REs won't do IUI if the count is below 2 million. We were significantly below that, but since the sperm was already ready to go, we did the IUI anyway. We were crushed to realize that this was not likely to be our magic bullet.

March 2006
We re-group and decide to get going with IVF as soon as possible to not waste any more of my eggs. We have a trip to Hawaii already planned and it looks like my cycle isn't going to cooperate to allow us to start the IVF, so I go on progesterone suppositories to attempt to lenghthen my cycle so we can start the IVF upon our return from vacation. On the day of my last bit of pre-IVF testing (mock transfer & final bloodwork) I decide to take a hpt on a whim, just in case. Lo and behold, it's a BFP! Are you serious? We're supposed to not be able to do this on our own! Since I'm already at the clinic, they do a beta - it's a 6. Levels have to be above 5 to be considered positive. I'm not even worried about the level because I'm so surprised it was positive at all. Betas jump up nicely in the following days and we head to Hawaii on cloud 9.

April 2006
Hawaii was a blast and we anxiously await our first u/s to see this little bean. Finally, it's time and we see one baby with a heartbeat! Hubby is very happy, my RE, not so much. The baby is measuring several days behind where it should be and the heartrate is very low - 81bpm. I can tell from the look on her face that she doesn't expect this to go well, but they have us come back in a week to see. THE LONGEST WEEK OF MY LIFE. My acupuncturist helps me to 'get out of my head' and listen to my inner voice. I wake up one morning hearing a female voice telling me, "This pregnancy isn't going to make it, but it will be ok." Surprisingly, this brings me peace.

May 2006
Our second u/s showed that the heart had stopped and the gestational sac was already beginning to collapse. The D&C is scheduled for the next day, May 5. Happy friggin Cinco de Mayo to me! The next few days/weeks are a bit of a blur, filled with lots of tears and anger and hopelessness. Not a good time.

June 2006
My period shows up 28 days after the D&C, at least one thing was normal about the process. My RE wants me to have one more normal cycle before IVF so we wait. We get the karyotyping results back from the D&C - a normal baby girl. No known cause for the loss.

July 2006
Still waiting. No AF after 30 some days so my RE has me come in to take a look at what's going on. Here begins the battle with the cysts - 35mm on the right ovary. We decide to use an hCG trigger shot to get the cyst to pop so I can start IVF once we get back from a trip to the New Jersey shore for a family reunion. I also find out that my mom has 2 clotting disorders, Protein C & S deficiencies. Testing will later show that I have neither of them, thankfully. While in NJ, my period shows up too early and is heavier than I've ever experienced. No way to get cd2 monitoring done, so we have to wait another month to do IVF.

August 2006
Once again, my cycle goes beyond 30 days so off I go to the RE to take a look. This time the cyst is 30mm and estrogen is low, but we trigger again anyway and hope for the best. AF shows up and I go in for cd2 monitoring. The cyst is still there, but it's down to 15mm (just at the cut-off) and we decide to go ahead with the bcp for the IVF. My FSH has gone up a bit to 16.9, but whatever.

September 2006
After 11 days of bcp, I go in for suppression check to see how things look and WTF? the cyst isn't gone and it's recruited a friend - 23mm & 28mm. I have the buggers surgically aspirated and my protocol gets switched from MDL (micro-dose lupron) to Antagonist which I'm very happy about. 2 days later, we take another look and the 2 cysts are smaller, but not gone and there is a 3rd one popping up! All of this was for naught though as after 5 days of stims, my cycle is cancelled due to no response. Not poor response, but no response. My estrogen only climbs as high as 81. Due to the scheduled lab closure, I have to wait until November to try again. Fuck! Our post-cycle review appointment brings further bad news. My RE thinks that based on my response (or lack thereof) that we need to be very aggressive and plan to put back all the embryos I can make, if any. Up to 6. That absolutely freaks Hubby out and me a bit too. Our best odds for success with IVF is 15% - that's the best we get. I'm so over this and just want to be done already.

October 2006
Ah, yet another waiting cycle. I bring out the old thermometer so I'll have some idea of what's going on with my cycle and lookie there, I ovulated on time! This should time out perfectly for my IVF to start in early November. Finally, something's going right. In the 2ww, my temps are crazy high and I start to worry that my FSH is skyrocketing, that would not be good.

November 2006
On Nov 3, I'm 14dpo and temps are higher than ever. I finally give in to the POAS gods and they offer up the best reward ever - a very strong BFP! You hear about women who get pregnant on their own right before IVF, but not twice in one year! I'm scared that this pregnancy will echo the last one, but try not to stress about it. That BFP is already darker than anything I got last time. I'm supposed to be going in for cd2 monitoring on the 5th, but instead, I go in for a beta. It comes back at 331. 2nd beta is 592, we scheduled the u/s and wait and hope. First u/s shows one baby, in the uterus nice and high with a heartbeat of 128bpm, very healthy and normal - finally!

December 2006
2nd u/s shows that the baby is doing great with a heartbeat of 176bpm and measuring exactly on for dates. My 1 hour glucose screening test comes back with a very good score of 75. The NT scan shows a nice thin NT measurement. The bladder is big, but we're hoping that our streak of good news continues and the bladder measures smaller at the next u/s.

It's been quite a year and it ended waaaay better than I expected it to during most of the year. I hope that 2007 continues the positive trend, but after last year, I know not to take anything for granted and enjoy the good stuff as much as you can.

12w1d - Personality Test Results

2006-12-30T08:56:00.000-08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion		83%
Stability		50%
Orderliness		60%
Accommodation		56%
Interdependence		76%
Intellectual		70%
Mystical		30%
Artistic		56%
Religious		10%
Hedonism		43%
Materialism		63%
Narcissism		70%
Adventurousness		10%
Work ethic		43%
Self absorbed		56%
Conflict seeking		63%
Need to dominate		76%

Romantic		56%
Avoidant		36%
Anti-authority		76%
Wealth		50%
Dependency		50%
Change averse		70%
Cautiousness		56%
Individuality		36%
Sexuality		36%
Peter pan complex		43%
Physical security		90%
Physical Fitness		50%
Histrionic		43%
Paranoia		30%
Vanity		50%
Hypersensitivity		63%
Female cliche		43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were medium which suggests you are moderately relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Trait snapshot:
clean, self revealing, open, organized, outgoing, social, enjoys leadership and managing others, dominant, makes friends easily, does not like to be alone, assertive, hard working, finisher, optimistic, positive, likes to stand out, likes large parties, respects authority, practical, high self esteem, perfectionist, dislikes chaos, busy, not familiar with the dark side of life, controlling, high self control, traditional, tough, likes to fit in, conforming, brutally honest, takes precautions.

So, what results do you get?

11w4d - NT Scan today & new due date

2006-12-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

I had my nuchal translucency ultrasound today. This u/s is useful with some blood tests to help adjust odds for Trisomies, including Down Syndrome. The NT measurement ideally is below 3, our measurement was about 1.7mm, so a very nice result. We'll get the adjusted odds later after the blood has been analyzed too. My standard odds based on my age are about 1/300.

They did notice that the baby has a large bladder. This could be nothing or it could be something. It could be that the baby needed to pee and just hasn't yet, or it could be that there is a slight blockage in the urethra making it difficult to empty the bladder. We'll go back next week to take another look as see if the bladder is getting bigger. Hopefully it will be smaller by next week and we'll be in the clear. If it's bigger, then we'll probably come back again in a week to track the measurement. They said that one measurement isn't very useful, that they need to see the trend to know if there is an issue or not. The doctor said that they see this a lot and almost always it resolves itself by the next look.

They adjusted my due date based on the measurements today, so once again, I get to essentially skip a week of pregnancy!! Yippee!! I was about 11w3d based on my ovulation date today and baby measured at 12w3d, so my new due date is July 8, 2007. My OB likes to do repeat c-sections (which I'll probably end up with) about a week or so early, so we're more likely looking at a due date in the first week of July. Fine with me, that's before most of the heat hits around here!

Hubby and I thought we might have seen a penis today. The u/s tech said it's too early to say, which we know, but still. The doctor admonished us to not assume anything - that increased estrogen from me can cause more swelling of the genitals in the baby and what looks like a small penis could very easily be an enlarged clitoris at this point. He said that a friend of his and her husband came in for an u/s. Her husband is a radiologist and he was convinced that he saw a penis and was quite surprised at her 20wk u/s that they were having a girl. So, we still don't know gender yet. Maybe we'll see more next week, but not counting on it that's for sure. My acupuncturist still says girl, so we'll see.

Overall, it was a great appointment, even with our inconclusive bladder results. My parents are still in town and were able to come with us and see their last grandbaby on ultrasound which I know was very special for them. I do have some pics, but still haven't found a working scanner to be able to scan them in. I promise to work harder on that this week. I want to scan the pics before they start to naturally darken up.

11w2d - That was a weird dream.

2006-12-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

I've had a few weird dreams with this pregnancy, but last night's was the oddest so far. And the fact that I remember it so clearly, even now, is unusual for me.

I dreamt that someone sent me a real live stork as a present (symbolism, much?). It was a juvenile one and it came with a few baby presents, all in pink. Apparently, someone thinks for sure I am having a girl. (That would be good!) I couldn't figure out who had sent this gift so I was looking through the paperwork that came with it and there was info about how the stork would eventually need to migrate back to it's own home and depending on where you lived and the time of year and what type of stork you received, it would migrate at different times. My stork was going to need to stay with us until May-early June (I'm due in mid-July). Then, at that time, I'd have to find a very tall building or tree or something and take the stork to the top to release it so it could find it's way home. There was a diagram included showing possible options for the release point. In searching through all the paperwork, I came across a name that I recognized and figured it had to be the person who sent this gift to me. The name was James Denton. Yes, the actor who plays Mike on Desperate Housewives. Why him? I haven't the earthliest clue. I mean, he's pretty darn cute and all, but I have no idea why he ended up in my dream. I could only deduce that he was a reader of this very blog and that was how he knew that I'm pregnant. I planned to put up a post thanking J.D. for the lovely gift.

Ok, let's analyze this one and see if we can figure out what it means. Any ideas?

10w5d - Ahhh, heat is good...so is a doppler

2006-12-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

I'm happy to report that as of yesterday afternoon, our power was restored. Five nights of no power, no heat, no phones (VoIP doesn't work w/o power), no TV, no internet is just insane. Yes, I know others have had it worse and I feel for them, but this was my situation and I was soooo over it after about 2 days of 'camping in'. And it didn't help that the temps were dropping into the 20's overnight - BRRRR!!!

And on even better news, my doppler just arrived and I found the heartbeat!!!!! S/he moved after a few seconds and was hiding, so I couldn't measure it. Also, I swear I rented the digital version so I wouldn't have to count heartbeats, but I need to confirm that. Yay! My baby is still alive!!

9w5d - It's good to be back.

2006-12-13T17:13:00.000-08:00

I finally got back to yoga class on Tuesday for the first time in a few weeks. I didn't realize how much my body missed it until after class. I just feel so much better when I've moved my body a bit.

We were snowed in a couple of weeks ago and Not So Wee One's preschool was cancelled. Not that I could get out of town to get to the gym with the ice on the roads either. Then, there was the field trip to a pottery studio where NSWO slapped some paint on a snowman and I painted the other two ornaments. And last Thursday was my day to work in the classroom so I missed yoga yet again.

I was happy to find that I hadn't lost too much in the way of flexibility and now that the nausea is gone (knock wood!) class was very enjoyable physically. There was some bad news too though. Another gal in the class who was pregnant with identical twins lost them at about 20 weeks to TTTS (Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome). She seems to be doing amazingly well given the circumstances. Yoga provides a safe haven for her I think. I know it did for me after my loss in May.

My teacher gave me a very nice compliment yesterday too. He was giving me a pose to do for a bit while everyone else was doing their warm-up which I don't do while pregnant. Even though it's been a few weeks, I remembered exactly the plan and got right to it. He said that I have a really good memory for this stuff, including the sanskrit names for poses and that I should consider teaching someday. Very kind. I feel like I'd have to practice yoga a lot longer and achieve a higher level of proficiency before I should be teaching, but apparently you don't have to be able to do all the poses perfectly to understand them and be able to help others understand them too. Who knows what the future might bring, but it was sure flattering. Especially from him. We practice Iyengar yoga first founded by B.K.S. Iyengar and my teacher's teacher studied with B.K.S. Iyengar himself, so I guess there are only 3 degrees of separation between me and this renowned yoga master. That's pretty darn cool. Not that it's helped me with my arm balances yet. Oh well, all in good time, right?

8w6d - 1 hour glucose screening test results

2006-12-07T16:34:00.000-08:00

I am OVER THE MOON to be able to tell you that I passed my glucose screening test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not diabetic - yet.

Back with NSWO, I did the 1 hr test at 25 wks due to a large family history of diabetes and failed with a score of 175 - ouch! Yesterday's test result was a mere 75, so my cute little pancreas is handling things just fine for now. The midwife said I don't need to repeat until 28 weeks.

I swear I feel about 15 lbs lighter right now!