Wednesday, August 23, 2006

"It wasn't meant to be."

I really hate that phrase. I was at acupuncture today and Lee and I were talking about my revelation about my cysts and how they are my body's way of keeping me from a possible IVF failure. She was saying to me that while it's scary, I really need to allow myself to sit with the thought of "what if it doesn't work?". In part of this discussion, she said it. If it doesn't work, then maybe "it wasn't meant to be". To her defense, she even hesitated when she said it, but still. I told her that I really hate that phrase because it makes it sound like my fate is pre-determined by some higher power (God?) and no matter what I do, the outcome is already decided. I'll say it again - I HATE THAT! I'd much rather think about coming to terms with the idea that 'it's just not going to happen' than 'wasn't meant to be'. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but I'd like to think that I have a bit of a say in what happens in my life. I do think that everything happens for a reason, but that we still get to help determine our lives. Anyone else get rubbed the wrong way by that phrase?

6 comments:

Lara said...

Ohhh how I hate that phrase! I've been hearing it a lot lately and its really getting on my EFFing nerves!!!!!

Alli said...

I am with you - I hate that phrase. Mainly because it immediately raises this question in my mind: Why is it "meant to be" for random meth addicts and child abusers and people who don't want children? It's meant to be for them but not for people who are desperate for a baby? That doesn't make any sense and it isn't fair.

Ugh! She should have hesitated longer and then decided not to say that! LOL.

seattlegal said...

That phrase really bugs me too - so nothing I do is going to make any sort of difference? I have no say in what happens? Yep, it really irritates me too.

the waiting line said...

for what it's worth, I HATE that phrase too.

Heather said...

OMG, yes I hate that!!! You know, just say you are sorry - or say nothing at all - but don't say that!

ellie said...

I think it is what people say when they can offer no reason for what something is-- it only seems to be said around disappointments. But it does imply that for some reason yet unknown to us that we are not intended to have a child- like there is a reason for it. That is the part that troubles me. Sorry would be better- and maybe "how 'bout a hug while you greive". I'd be ok with that too.