Friday, October 27, 2006


So, I have to tell you what happened to me at dinner tonight. Hubby is out of town on business so it was just NSWO and me. We're at the local mexican place and there is a table of teenagers near us and this woman who apparently knows all of them ends up at the booth next to their table. Since her other person isn't there yet, she pops over and chats with the teens for a bit. In the conversation, she's telling them about someone they all know. She mentions that this other kid is an only child with a tone that says she doesn't see this as a good thing. Then she interrupts her story to admonish these teens, "DON'T have an only child. Just don't."

I couldn't believe my ears. First off, how in the world does she get off assuming all only kids are hellions? I debated saying something to her for about 10 minutes. When the teens food showed up and she got up to go to her table, she walked right by me, so I decided to mention it to her. I politely said, "I'm sure you didn't mean to offend, but you made a comment earlier to not have an only child. You should know that some people don't CHOOSE that." She immediately apologized and said that she hadn't meant to offend. I smiled and said, "I'm sure you didn't. It's a bit of a sensitive topic for me because we've been trying for over 2 years to give him a sibling [refering to my son sitting next to me] and we've had no luck." Next, she asks me with a concerned, helpful face, "Have you tried taking your temperature?" Seriously, that's what she said.

Now, it's important to the story at this point to mention that this lady was VERY large. Surely morbidly obese. I know, because many of my aunts and uncles are also morbidly obese officially. What I wanted to say to this oh-so-helpful know-it-all was, Yes, you gigantic cow, I HAVE tried taking my temperature. Have you tried eating less? But I was good. What I actually said was, "Hmm, yes, I have tried taking my temperature, that's what got me him. I've tried IVF and it didn't work." She just smiled and said, well, you're very lucky to have him. I couldn't agree with her more.

Just one more example of how much people outside of the infertility world JUST DON'T GET IT.


Angela (_live_laugh_luv on FF) said...

oh that is obnoxious! I am an only child, and not by my mothers' choice...she had stage 4 endo after I was born and could never have concieved another child with the technology available then! I think I turned out alright!

I'm glad you said something! People make the most horrible assumptions sometimes :(

Linlee said...

I'm glad you said something too. I'm an only child and my childhood was great. I just went through IVF and we and if we get one that is wonderful and if we get twins that's even better. IVF is stressful enough to have to go through it again and again.